C U L8R: Talking to Teens

These May be the Best Conversations You’ll Have

I’ve noticed more than one Mom skipping down the quiet streets of my neighbourhood lately, giddy in the anticipation of their kids heading off to school in just a few days.

I share their excitement.  I’m sending my oldest to university in September, just about an hour, but only a text message away.  Am I worried I’ll miss her?  A little.  Am I worried she’ll miss us?  A little more.  Am I worried I won’t know what she’s doing every single minute of every single day?  Not really.  The fact is that most of our conversations already exist mostly in cyberspace, via texting and email – and she sends them to me from her bedroom – and I’m totally okay with that. 

Let me explain.  If you don’t have teenagers, you may not be aware that many of them have attitude.  Okay, all of them. No, it wasn’t just you with your own Mom.  The grand traditions of snarling, door slamming, the words “fine” and “whatever” have safely been passed down to the next generation, who are secure in the knowledge that they know everything and that their parents are ranking about 11 on a Useless Scale of 1-10. 

But there is one big advantage which parents today have in dealing with these beacons of personality, brought to us by the marvels of technology: Text messaging and emailing.  No, I’m not advocating the constant use of texting in class, during a family dinner or while in mid-conversation with Great Aunt Emma,  I’m talking about the text messages which come from the child’s own bedroom, their best friend’s house down the street, or just hanging out with their friends, in reply to a request from me, the reasonable adult.  Because, while technology can do many things, the appearance of a flat word or abbreviation on a screen luckily is not able to carry the same hormone induced superior tone that any card carrying teenager would have in a verbal response.  Likewise, the originating query and resulting texted answer from a Mom cannot in return carry the same nagging, whining, “nobody appreciates” me undercurrent we all love to infuse in our conversations with our teenagers (a skill honed from their toddler days).

I’ve had some of the best conversations with my teenagers this way. I have also picked up a whole new language in abbreviated words such as ur and OMG.  I was going to share a list with future parents of teenagers...but let’s face it.  If I know them now, they’re already outdated, and if you’re not facing the teen years for a little while, there will be an entirely new batch to learn.

So, while I’m excited about the fact that the lack of tone will continue to be a selling feature on her notes from me, what I’m mostly worried about is trying to keep up with the volume (if I get 10 an hour from upstairs, how many am I getting from 100km away?), and the ever increasingly acronym filled content.

AYS?  Yes I am.
BTW, LMK how it turns out for u.  NP, I’ve GTG so I’ll TTYL.

Kathy Buckworth is an award winning writer, public speaker, and television personality. She is the author of five books, including “The BlackBerry Diaries: Adventures in Modern Motherhood” and her latest, “Shut Up and Eat: Tales of Chicken, Children & Chardonnay”.

She is a feature writer for Sympatico.ca in their parenting, travel, and auto sections, and is also a columnist for ParentsCanada, Ottawa Families, Dabble Magazine, and GoodLife. She also regularly contributes to national magazines such as Canadian Families, Disney Playhouse, and Oh Baby. Her monthly “Funny Mummy” column appears on 25+ websites across North America. She is a parenting correspondent for CTVNewsChannel, and appears on shows such as CityLine and The Marilyn Denis Show.

Kathy is the only two time winner of the Professional Writers Association of Canada Award for Excellence in Humour, and is the 2010 recipient of the Mississauga Arts Award for Established Literary Arts. Visit www.kathybuckworth.com or follow along at www.twitter.com/kathybuckworth