I am privileged to have many women in my life who are birth doulas. Wonderful, caring woman dedicated to helping women achieve the birth experience they desire. I admire these women, and I respect them. They do amazing work every single day.
I must admit however, that their focus on natural birth and negative stance on c-sections often leaves a sour taste in my mouth. When I was pregnant with my first child, I got caught up in the dream of having a natural birth; an ideal and empowering experience. I was adamant I would refuse drugs and was so confident I wouldn’t need a c-section that I didn’t even read that chapter in my dozens of pregnancy and birth books.
As we all know however, dreams don’t always become reality. I had read so many books about labour and delivery. I had talked to so many people about their experiences, but you know what? I was completely unprepared.
Many women speak of strength and empowerment during their birth experiences. I did not feel this. I was not comfortable. I hated it. I wanted it to be over as soon as possible. I didn’t enjoy it, and to be honest, I didn’t even get that far into the labour process.
I was relieved when the doctor recommended a c-section because they were concerned about my daughter’s safety. Her heartbeat was dropping with every contraction. I was thankful I didn’t have to go through labour. I wanted no part of it. Those contractions just weren’t for me. Most importantly though, I was scared for the safety of my little girl, and I did not hesitate in my decision to have the surgery as soon as they sensed there was a problem. I do not regret my decision in the least.
I do not feel like the doctors permanently damaged me. I do not feel like I missed out on something I should have experienced. To be completely honest, my husband and I tend to like immediate satisfaction. If we want something, we go out and get it – now. The c-section, while unexpected, kind of suited our personalities. Instead of going through what was probably going to be a very, very long labour, we had our baby in our arms right away. And more importantly, she was safe. She was healthy. And so am I.
I had an ideal c-section experience. I had no adverse affects from the drugs and had my little girl in my arms within two hours; a relatively short period of time compared to some who go under the knife. There are more stories like mine out there. It’s not all doom and gloom.
Why do I bring all of this up? Since I know so many doulas and anti-c-section individuals, I often feel bombarded by information telling me I should be upset about my birth experience. I see videos and articles on social media sites telling me what I did was wrong; that I’m part of an epidemic; that I should feel cheated; that the medical system let me down; that I should regret my decision. Well, I don’t, and I am confident there are other woman out there like me. The positive c-section stories need to be shared too.
I know that many women have unfortunately had to deal with negative c-section experiences, and I feel for them, I do. But just like everything in life, it is best to avoid generalizations. Not all c-sections are bad. Not every woman needs to experience vaginal childbirth to feel complete. Holding my baby in my arms has made me more whole than I could have ever imagined. Every situation is unique. Every person is unique; and everyone has a right to be that way.
We each make our own decisions, and no one should make us feel badly for that, even when it is unintentional. The outcome is the same here. In the end, we all become mommies.
Printer-friendly version