48 of the Dumbest Things Ever Said to Pregnant Women

A drunk guy patted my belly and asked me if I was sure it was mine.
Julie T.  

"You look really washed out, you must be having a girl. Girls take all of your beauty away." Nice.
Shannon A.

"Are you sure you're not having twins? You're so BIG."

Yes, I'm sure.

"But are you sure sure?"

YES, you asshat! I'm sure.

"When's your due date?"

(I reply to the knowingly not pregnant asshat). Silence.
Pennie M.

I got pregnant at 42 very much a surprise after thyroid surgery and being told I was infertile for years. "Do you have any idea how old you'll be when he's 20?!?" Uh yes; I have basic math skills, thanks. I had an easier pregnancy than I did at 26, too.
Krista G.

While hunched over the toilet puking my guts up, someone (can't say who) approached my side and said, "You know it's really all in your head, this morning sickness thing."
Darah Z.

 

"You are huge... you are not going to make it full term."
Aneta B.

I am due on Thursday with #4, and last Sunday I overheard my Dad say to my 5 year-old "Don't worry; the baby will be born soon. Your mom can't get much bigger or her stomach will split."
Kris K.

I went to the wake for our neighbour when I was in my first trimester. My husband in a lame attempt to cut the sad tension announces that I'm pregnant (awkward). The son of our deceased neighbour reaches down and lifts his father's arm, extending it to the point that the hand if our deceased neighbour is now touching my stomach, and announced back: "Dad would have loved that."
Rebecca L.

I already had a boy, 7 years-old, and girl 4.5 years-old. People asked me if my 3rd child was an accident. I was asked why would you do that to yourself again? You have two out of diapers and in school, did you want another one? Yes! We did and yes she was planned.
Grace H.

When I was pregnant with #3, my coworker asked if my husband was ok with it. Ummmmm yah, he was there!
Jennifer S.

 

"Oh come on, are you sure you're not having twins? Only 6 months? You look like you're ready to explode!"
Adrienne D.

I once had an elderly male client try and give me advice about clearing up my pregnancy acne. First of all, it's hormonal, and secondly, why would I take preggo advice from a man who has never even been close to experiencing the hormonal fluctuations that women do their entire lives?
Bena GD

"Don't cross your legs, the umbilical cord will tie in a knot."
Maggie W.

Someone asked me if they should call a doctor because I looked like I was about to give birth right there in the Starbucks lineup. Nice.
Louise G.

"Wow, at your age? Good for you!"
Tanya N.

By my female boss: "Don't let that thing get its claws into you when it's born. You need to come back to work so you can have a life." Wow. Thanks. (Yes she had 2 grown children of her own...)
Sarah K.

I was almost nine months pregnant at a family (in laws) wedding and had a cousin come up and say "You're pregnant? I thought you just got fat!"
Lina K.

 

In response to my pregnancy heartburn: "You must be having a very hairy baby."
Catherine S.

Dumbest thing said to me... one line..."Think labour's gonna hurt?"
Laura P.

Well, you're going to love this... When I was 8 months pregnant, my mother-in-law asked me if I knew who the father was.
Lisa B.

My mom told me not to reach up in a shelf, I would strangle the baby because the cord would move up with my arms.
Shirley R.

I was married at 20 and pregnant within the year. I was hospitalized a month before delivery with high blood pressure. I couldn't wear my rings since I was so swollen and was on total bed rest. A nun came in to talk to me about options... I could give my baby up for adoption. I politely informed her that I was married and that I wanted my baby very much. I suggested she get to know someone before advising of options. I still chuckle every time I drive by that hospital.
Branka S.

 

Someone once told me while in my third trimester: "You look like the letter B!!!"
Steph A.

I had a lady, whom I did not know, scold me in the Walmart baking aisle because I was obviously near the end of my pregnancy, putting my baby due in December. She told me that I was inconsiderate and thoughtless in my planning. That I was apparently too self involved to consider what having a birthday in December would do to my child.
Shannon P.

With babe in arms 4 weeks after delivery, some teenage girl says, "Aw so cute, and you're having another one already!"
Amie K.

"Are you sure you aren't having twins?" No lady, just one, but thanks for reminding me how big I am!
Jaclyn S.

My ex-husband told me at my last weigh in with our twins that I weighed as much as Georges Laraque. Not what you want to compare a woman bursting with two full term babies!
Jaime G.

A very lazy radiologist only did some of the measurements and didn't sex my baby. Then because her report was incomplete, she wrote in the report, "unable to measure due to too much body fat."
Tracy F.

Something dumb I said, but when first pregnant I couldn't remember my sisters name- I went to introduce her to someone and completely blanked, for about five full minutes.
Ann-Marie M.

My mother while we were walking into a store at 35 weeks: "Come on, tubby, you can move faster."
Sarah C.

When I was pregnant with my third boy: "Oh, I bet you wish you were having a girl... are you going to try for another to get a girl?"
Sharon C.

Upon informing my doctor I was pregnant, he replied, "Do you know who the father is?"
Marilyn B.

"You look good with big boobs. You should get a boob job afterwards."
Jennifer T.

"Oh you were actually pregnant? I thought you had just gained a lot of weight." Coming from someone who lived in the same apartment building.
Annika P.

"Are you sure you're pregnant? You look like you're just fat."
Amanda M.

"So any day now eh?" -- Construction workers to me as I was walking down the street. I was only 5.5 months along!
Kim M.

"How far along are you?" I WASN'T PREGNANT.
Crystal L.

I am a flight attendant and with my last pregnancy a year ago, people found it okay to say "I heard flying causes miscarriages" and to randomly touch my belly-all the time!
Tina S.

How lucky I was not to have to be the one who was carrying the baby (my sister was our surrogate). For real.

 

Not during, but two weeks after having our baby, a 20-something year old prodded my belly and said "Why hasn't it gone flat yet?"
Sheiila  J.

I was advised (by a mom) to eat lots of gummy bears during pregnancy so the baby would slide out during labour.
Zeba L.

"It must be a boy.... cause look at all that junk in your trunk!" - the monster in law.
Jennifer S.

Someone told me I looked awful in my last trimester. She was a nurse and kept trying to tell me I didn't look good. Well she succeeded in making me upset but I chose to not listen. Just thought she was not being nice. Turns out I had HELLP syndrome and at that point was quite unwell.
Tennille F.

"Are you SURE it's not twins? Maybe you have your due date wrong. You're just so BIG!"
Karyn B.

My former boss used to make the beeping sounds of a truck backing up whenever I was around him. Drove me nuts.
Curtains are Open

A doctor (not mine, fortunately) asked me if I was having an elephant.
Melanie H.

I convinced the father to take time off work to attend the ultrasound with me and hear his baby's heartbeat. The attendant only allowed him in the examining room for a few minutes with me. While we waited for the photo, he states, "Well, that was a waste of time."
Dana M.

"Eat Burger King. Helps the baby to come sooner."
Jennifer C.