How to Break Free for 10 Minutes When You're Blessed With a Velcro Baby

What To Do If Your Child Just Can't Let Go


All babies go through a stage where they become more clingy. 

They’ve bonded with you and know who mom is. It’s important for you to know though that leaving him with someone you trust, isn’t harming him in any way. You’re not neglecting or abandoning him. I’m sure you spend a lot of time with him when you’re together, holding and loving him.  Apart from feeding, that is what’s most important right now. There are times though when it’s in both your and your baby’s best interest that you have some time apart.  You need time to be with other adults and time to do the things that nurture you, so you can be the best mother you can be for your son.  Caring for a baby is an around the clock job because they are totally dependent on us. As much as we love them, we can sometimes feel resentful and even imprisoned by their constant demands. It doesn’t mean we’re a bad parent if we feel this way or that we don’t love our child anymore.  If and when we do feel this way though, it’s essential we do what we need to do to look after ourselves. Caring for your baby is your job right now and we all need a break from time to time. We all need to take time out to renew and refresh ourselves. Your baby deserves to see and experience the best of you!
Children have to learn to that there are trustworthy adults other than their parents, who can care for them and ensure their safety.  If you have a child who has a very difficult time separating, do it gradually. Leave him for just 15 or 20 minutes then gradually add more time so he learns to know and trust that when you leave, you will come back. Even if he cries, that’s OK.  He’ll be fine. Trust and take comfort in knowing that other adults can handle the crying.
If you have a particularly clingy baby you can also ask yourself if there is a reason he/she might be clinging to you more than usual. Has there been a major disruption in your home life? Are you worried about something in your own life and your baby is picking up on your anxiety? Is he teething or not feeling well? Is there any reason he might be feeling insecure or anxious? It’s important to know that babies pick up the energy we create in the home. If there is a lot of tension and/or hostility, your baby is going to pick that up. Conversely, a calm, peaceful home will help a baby feel more relaxed.

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Barbara Desmarais is a parenting and life coach who has worked with parents for over 20 years. She presents parenting workshops in and around Vancouver, B.C. and coaches parents privately, primarily over the telephone. Barb is regularly quoted in Today's Parent magazine and is frequently called upon to offer advice parenting advice on the radio and for podcasts.

She is mother to four young, adult children, including twin, deaf step-sons. She has been married for 24 years.