When you're a single parent, the approach of Valentine's Day can bring up feelings we don't want to deal with anymore. Loneliness, longing for companionship, hopelessness, jealousy, disdain - the list goes on too long. If it weren't for our kids, Valentine's Day could just as well pass unnoticed.
Why not gain some perspective and see how this can be your best Valentine's Day yet! Because it's really up to you to decide how to feel about this Hallmark Holiday - just as it's your decision how to feel about every day.
You choose whether or not to continue holding those old feelings and fueling them, which results in the kind of limbo that ends up being unproductive and ultimately destructive if left unchecked. Or you can acknowledge what you are feeling and let it go.
When you do let go, what's left is a blank page ready for you to write who you are and how you are now. It's the art of not letting your past define you. Create your own vision, then start taking one step at a time towards living that vision.
Try out these solo Valentine's Day celebrations of you, and see how good it can feel!
Put yourself in a new situation on purpose by going for a walk or drive isomewhere you haven't explored before.
Make a point to stand still and look for things that give you enjoyment. Watching the world go by when viewed with curiosity and calm can be tremendously entertaining, and invites your subconscious thoughts to surface.
Go to a bookstore or coffee shop where you can browse through books or magazines and learn something new while being in the presence of other people. It beats sitting at home alone.
Smile, even if you have to force it at first. Give some away, and you'll get some back. Sharing that kind of energy is powerfully healing and generates good feelings for both parties.
Listen to music you really enjoy. In fact, put on the headphones, turn it up loud and just soak it all in. It felt good when you were fifteen, and can still transport you.
Go for a brisk walk or a workout. Not only are you doing something good for your body, you're clearing the mind and stimulating all the right parts of your brain to feel better.
Pick up your favourite food and cook a special dinner just for you. Wine, candles, and dessert!
Dig into a really good book or put on a movie and indulge in some popcorn. So many people would love to have quiet time on their own, so cherish it while you can.
Take yourself to a movie or play or symphony. It's easy to do alone, and you get complete authority over the choice of film, seating and decision to leave early if you want. Once again relish that freedom while you have it.
If you're missing your kids to celebrate with that day, think of a surprise you can share the next time you see them to re-create the missed magic of the day. Bake cupcakes and decorate them with candy hearts. Design a treasure hunt for foil wrapped hearts to discover when they arrive. Write and hide special notes for them or create a gift certificate for a celebration they can redeem for your own special Hallmark Holiday.
Download all the sappiest love songs you remember from your teen years and revel in them. Let that bring up all the wonderful memories of first kisses, the feeling of falling in love, the special moments you carry in your treasure box. Intentionally shut the door on the sad memories.
Spend some time envisioning how you want love in your life again. Experience the feelings of being cherished, held, teased, touched and decide you will bring that into your life again.
Whatever you do, make a conscious decision that, even if only for today, you will choose to celebrate a day that honors love. Because you know deep inside - behind our protective walls - we all just want to feel its joy. Make this Valentine's Day special without needing to have a partner in your life.As long as you still believe in love, it will find you.
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