Remember the first day of school getting that nudge from your mother, “Just go and say hi,” she would say as you hesitated to approach a group of kids talking. It’s exactly the same feeling for new parents.
It’s a little nerve-wracking going up to a complete stranger and sparking up a conversation. But if you can remember these simple rules, it may help to ease the situation:
If you are somewhere close to your house, be it a park, local parent drop-in centre or a library program, it is more than likely that those other parents attending live in the same area and are perfect candidates for play dates. The majority of parents who attend these “kid friendly” places are also looking for a friend. Many parents complain about the same thing....Lack of adult interaction. When having an outing with your child it is also nice to have a conversation with another parent where you can discuss what’s most important in your life...kids. Kids are great conversation pieces. Start off with: “How old is your son? What is his name? And after a couple minutes of conversation you can also ask, “How was your/your wife’s pregnancy and labour? These questions may sound intrusive but they really aren’t. All parents want to share their story. If you have successfully and comfortably completed these last three suggestions you can have an instant friend and from here you can plan to meet at this same place again the following week.
There seems to be so much pressure on children socializing with other children, and don’t get me wrong I think this is also very important, but what about the parents? Life is absolutely wonderful at home with your children but after awhile, I know you know what I mean, if you don’t have much adult conversation your brain feels like it’s turning to mush.
It is healthy to attempt outings every once in a while, at least 2 times in a week. And I’m not talking a trip to the grocery store or the pharmacy; I’m talking about somewhere where you are interacting with other children, parents and your own child. Luckily in this day in age the majority of parent and child programs are free. This makes for a very rewarding experience because you can get the best of both worlds. Staying at home is a difficult financial transition and by making these little trips you are actually having an eventful outing that doesn’t cost a penny except for maybe gas and a bag full of goldfish crackers.
There's huge benefits to having playdate friends! If you decide to meet up for regular walks, join a baby salsa class or a baby yoga class you are getting fit, relieving stress and socializing.
A simple play date at the park is giving both you and your child fresh air, exposure to other children and adults and rewarding time spent together. Not to mention, you are also probably going to tire your child out so they will have a nice long nap when you get home. When you have a group of friends that are dependable you can discuss issues that you may be having with your child and, you never know, that person may be having those same issues. Together, you can give possible suggestions and realize that you’re not alone. So many parents compare developmental levels of their child to other children. This is natural and healthy. It is good to talk to your doctor about what is normal development depending on age. Having friends to meet on a regular basis can give you assurance that your child is developing on the right track and you can also see how children all develop at their own rate. You are all learning together. You don’t have to be perfect. Each child has their own personality. Soon you will realize that everyone has both good and bad days. Parents included. Once you have developed a trusting relationship you can offer to watch each other’s children for short periods of time. (Only offer if you are comfortable with this). Being there for each other gives mom, dad or guardian a small break in the day to do some running around, baby-free. Many parents start to become distant with old friends from high school or friends who don’t have children and this is because you are both at different stages of your life. Meeting other parents opens up a whole new door to fun, child-friendly activities with families that live similar lives as you do.
Making friends can be intimidating but the outcome is worth it. Be a listener as well as a talker and learn from each other. Be brave, and bring some extra snacks to the park next time you go and I promise you’ll find some instant friends.
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