I remember being so excited to go back to school each year—new clothes, new books, seeing old friends, making new ones. Going back to work has some of the same charms—new clothes, new blackberry, seeing old co-workers again—but it lacks the excitement. For me, it's turned into nervous fear. I'm scared that I won't be as sharp as I was once I go back, being out of the work environment for so long. And it's also pure sadness to leave my little one behind. After spending every waking hour together for over a year, I can't bear the thought of leaving her with someone else for eight to ten hours a day. Who will comfort her when she cries? Who will make her laugh? Who will teach her new words and then clap when she tries to repeat them?
Well, life is what it is and I have to go back to work. So, I'm taking small steps—leaving her with my mom for an afternoon and just doing something on my own. Some people might think, 'What a great break, you deserve it! Take care of yourself.' But I'm not like that. I don't see being without my kids as a break. Guess I have to get used to it. Just a tip to those of you going back to work after completing your maternity leave: no one can prepare you for the feeling that will overcome you once you step away from your child the first day you go back to work. Take some tissues and sunglasses, my dears!
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