My New School Year Resolutions (and Projected Failure Dates)

Tell me you won't be doing the same.

"I'm going to wait until January, but then I’m going to lose that excess weight, go to bed earlier and finally start that reno project I’ve been putting off. Come on January first! Let’s do this!" (Sound familiar?) 

We all do it – we set New Years resolutions hoping to finally get our shit together. This arbitrary date has been used by many of us who need a reason to say ‘no more! TODAY IS THE DAY!’

We parents have two such dates on the calendar though – New Years and the first day of school. You know you do it. We all do it. We seasoned parents of school aged-kids learn from the mistakes of the previous years – the lunches that are no longer Pinterest worthy by June, the homework left ignored, the school forms signed two days too late – and decide this is the year we go stress free!

I love deluding myself into a false sense of control and actual number of effs to see this through. It makes me feel all ready to take the bull by the horns and get this school year off on the right foot. I’m ready to make this year the best year yet! Here are my New School Year Resolutions.

The kids are going to pack their own lunches – the day before!

That’s right. I’m done with lunches. Over are the days of me rushing at 7:30 in the morning to get lunches packed for two picky eaters. Not only am I going to have them pick their own, well-rounded, healthy lunches, but they’re going to come straight home from school and empty their day’s lunch bag and prep for the next day. That’s right, lunches will be done a day early and totally healthy, and I won’t lift a finger! It’s totally going to happen.

Expected failure date: September 7th

We’re gonna be proactive about homework

No more of this ‘did you get your homework done last night?’ bullshit as the kids pack up their bags to head out the door in the morning. There will be no question that it’s done because they’ll go right to the kitchen table when they get home, after they’ve packed their lunches. They’ll open those books over after school snacks and bang it all out. I’ll have a basket filled with supplies at the centre of the kitchen table and make sure they have everything they need. They will sit quietly as they figure out wtf is up with new math and not ask me because I don't effing know! 

This will help ensure a calm relaxing evening after dinner and a seamless morning.

Expected failure date: September 21st

Any after-school activity uniforms will be together, and available when we need them

I really did hate my son running around trying to locate his pants, shirt and belt for taekwondo, often piled under some other pile of crap in his room. My daughter’s swim suit always seemed to run away at exactly the time she needed it. Not this year though! This year they’re going to have them all ready, in full, the day before. In fact, they’ll be in bags by the door the morning of! This is one that should be really easy to stick to!

Expected failure date: If we make it to October I’ll consider that a win.

All forms will be signed and returned the day after they are received

I’m so excited to finally get this one under control. It’s never fun realizing the form under the pile of bills on the fridge was supposed to go back to school by yesterday and YOU are the parent the teacher gently scolded in that email that went out yesterday. Nope. I won’t be the target of those emails this year. This year they’ll go back the day after they come home and I’ll silently scoff at those parents who don’t have their shit together to get the forms back to the teacher in time.

Expected failure date:  When the first permission form comes home

Less screen time for all!

I get that, after a long day of work and school, we all just want to veg and forget about life for a while. But this year, we won’t use screens. We’re going to limit ourselves to twenty-minutes a day, only! We’ve been flying by the seat of our pants but this year, find a book to read. Your grades are fine and your reading is great but those screens are evil and I’m putting the banhammer down on relying on it to unwind!

Failure date: September 4th

I have the best of intentions and maybe this is the year we all get our crap together. Actually, no, this IS the year we get our crap together. Hopefully these resolutions last longer than the New Years Resolutions of ninety-percent of the people I see at my gym in January. 

I put a date to it so surely it will happen!