Things I'd Rather Do Than Walk to the Bus Stop in Winter

Strollers + more than 1cm of snow = hell.

It’s winter, and walking outside in the winter when your lungs are inflamed and every breath feels like a long deboning knife sliding under your ribcage is not high on my priority list. Also, a little parenting equation for you: strollers + more than 1cm of snow = hell.

Except that pesky kid of mine needs to get to and from school, five days a week.

I’m lucky. When I came down with a monster infection and things were at their worst, the husband either took her in the mornings himself, or drove us both, on his way to work. That’s huge. Unfortunately, I’m now well enough to take her on my own again. It’s only two blocks. 1700 steps. Too close to complain about.

But I can’t help it.

So I’ve spent this morning thinking up all of the things I’d rather be doing, instead of walking while negotiating the unshovelled sidewalks with a baby in the stroller. These are all completely attainable, right?

Drink my coffee in peace


I’m so fancy, drinking my black coffee.

All cozied up in my fuzzy blanket, looking out the bay window of my cozy warm home. The key word here is cozy, a word I very distinctly do NOT feel when I walk my kid to and from school. Did I mention that my coffee is actually still hot, in this fantasy of mine?

Sorry. We’re just going to stop there for a minute. Sigh.

Okay, moving on.


Get a head start on dinner

Bey Cooking

What? This is TOTALLY how I look when I cook.

Oh my god, what I wouldn’t do to have an extra 30 minutes here and there to do basics like food prep for an actual dinner. Maybe then my kids wouldn’t be subsisting solely on chicken nuggets, carrots and bagels. Oh, who am I kidding? They’d be eating that shit regardless, but at least Iwould be eating real food.

Take a shower


My husband just happened to catch me showering one day!

Seriously, what I wouldn’t do to have a long, hot, relaxing shower with NO ONE SCREAMING IN THE BACKGROUND. Is that too much to ask? Shhhh. Don’t answer that.

Clean the house

What? This is totally how I sweep.

If you don’t sweep like this you’re MISSING OUT.

What’s that? 20 minutes of distraction-free cleaning that doesn’t take place at 9pm? Yes please! Also, I think if this is what gets me excited, I am in trouble.

Have a nap

Cat Nap STAT

Cat nap STAT.

Because it’s more than likely that I was woken up at 5:38am by my wee little asshole of a toddler. I love him, but GOOD GOD.

Bake cupcakes for myself my family

This could've been my oven this morning. BUT NO.

Coulda. Shoulda. Woulda.

These would have a raspberry jam filling and milk chocolate buttercream icing. Not that I’m dreaming of these right this very moment…

Finish writing my novel

Oh, Meryl.

Oh, Meryl.

I am only half-kidding about this. I would kill to have 20 minutes every day that I could devote to finishing the novel I began back in November.

Work out

What, you don't work out like this?

This looks so fun!

I have to tell you, 1700 steps twice a day does not cut it, when it comes to maintaining my girlish figure. A 20 minute HIIT workout would fit in perfectly here.

Get a foot rub


Doesn’t this look relaxing?

I will happily take one of these over trudging slowly through the snow, trying to get my child to walk farther than the length of a single house before needing to stop and examine something. This isn’t too much to ask, is it?

I know this is a silly thing to complain about, and in all honesty, I don’t mind the walk in the spring or the fall. I also know have at least 5-8 more years of this, so I need to buck up. But thanks for indulging me and reading today.

Previously published at The Joy of Cooking (for Little Assholes)




RELATED: I Don't Hate Winter But I Might Hate You

Glynis Ratcliffe used to be an opera singer, but after her daughter begged her to stop singing and be quiet for the millionth time, she decided to use her inside voice and write instead. Now, she’s a freelance writer with bylines at The Washington Post, Chatelaine, Lifehacker, and CBC, as well as being a copywriter and ghostwriter for clients in various industries.