About six years ago, I invited a few friends for a “mom’s night out” dinner at a local restaurant. We all lived near each other, but with young kids and conflicting schedules, we could never get together.
The email invite went out and the RSVPs slowly came back in.
Sorry, can’t make it.
I won’t be able to come. Have fun without me.
A few days later, I was chatting with my friend on the phone. It came to light that the real reason she said no was because she always had the best of intentions, but by the time 7 o’clock rolled around, she was done.
The thought of putting on clothes and makeup to go out was just too much.
That’s the truth, isn’t it? When you’ve just spent the last 11 hours taking care of young kids and tending to babies, having to get dressed up to go out for a few hours out can be a deal breaker.
It was a lightbulb moment, and as soon as I got off the phone, I sent out another email.
It was the beginning of Wine and Sweatpants night.
The premise was simple: I would host at my place, everyone brings a small appetizer (a bag of chips was totally acceptable) and the dress code was sweatpants and ponytails. We would drink wine, catch up, and everyone would leave at a reasonable hour. Under no circumstances was anyone allowed to dress up.
The first night it was about 50/50. Half of my friends took the sweatpants to heart, while the other half thought they should still freshen up. By the second Wine and Sweatpants, we were all in relaxed clothes.
Here’s the thing: nobody gives a shit what you wear.
Three years ago, I went to a conference. As a lark, I decided to wear the same outfit for three days running to see if anyone noticed. This included me doing a presentation in front of a room of about 60 people while still wearing the same outfit on the third day.
The end results? Only one person commented.
Who knows, maybe there were other people who noticed, but they just didn’t say anything.
But what’s closer to the truth is we are all so busy stressing about what we will wear to that conference, wedding, baby shower, or girl’s night out that we don’t really notice what everyone else is wearing.
You probably remember what you wore to the last fancy event you went to, but do you honestly remember what anyone else wore?
There are so many things to stress about in our daily lives that our clothes shouldn’t be one of them. If you love to dress to the nines before you go out because it makes you happy, then do it. And yes, there are definitely times when you need to dress for an occasion.
But if dressing up to meet with friends is holding you back? Stop that shit immediately.
Your friends don’t care about what you’re wearing, they just want to see you.