If you follow me on social media - Instagram specifically - you will know that I’m pretty darn honest about #momlife. While I agree that Instagram is a place to share your pretty little squares, I believe that some sense of “real life” should be present. As pretty as my feed may be, I need for you guys to know that I’m right there with you! I struggle the same way you do, I just cannot show some of it to you!
I ask myself several times a day: “Does it make me a bad mama?”
My home can sometimes (Okay, if we’re being honest, MOST times) be a VERY heavy place. There is a lot going on! I cannot share this with you all the time; my blog/ social media is a chance to escape the heaviness!
Social media is often a double-edged sword. While you want to see all the pretty things, loving moments, and wonderful experiences, perception can sometimes kick in and you’re left wondering: "WHY NOT ME?"
The most recent for me was the end of spring break, seeing all those loving snuggles between mother and children. I questioned, "Am I bad mama 'cause I’m happy? That come Monday I’ll be doing the happiest dance that Ava will be back in school?"
As I continued to scroll, that question turned into an unjustified and unfair nagging belief. They were saddened that spring break was coming to and end, and I was thankful the end was finally here!
There is a giant list of times you will ask yourself, "Does this make me a bad mama?" when comparing your life to others! You are not me, and I am not you, which is OK! Your experiences will be different from mine… that is OK too! You and your children are cut from a different cloth, and that is what is beautiful about life! We will never feel the exact same way about everything that we do, so please see those little squares, and enjoy them for exactly what they are: pretty!
I can almost guarantee that shot of the happiest, prettiest Christmas is the most staged photo you will ever see. Five minutes earlier, one kid was picking their nose, the other was scowling at the photographer, mom was losing her mind with anxiety, and dad was dreaming about a beach somewhere or maybe what it’d be like to be single again!
Here's more things that don't make you a bad mama:
1. When you feed kids macaroni and cheese and sometimes you just want to have a meal without screaming, “Sit DOWN and EAT!”
2. When you forget to put their clothes in the washing machine. Sometimes wearing pants two days in a row is OK; no one will know, I promise.
3. Asking 5 times to hurry up and get dressed or you’ll be late for school and then SNAPPING the 6th time you say it! Talking to walls is frustrating! Every mother agrees!
4. When you finally do make it out that door and feel relieved that, for the next 6 hours, your child will be someone else’s problem! Home schooling isn’t for everyone, and hence why schools exist.
5. When you see photos of Hawaii and wish you were there instead of buried in mountains of laundry that will probably sit in that same chair for another 3 days!
6. Not doing laundry for yourself until you actually completely run out of clean underwear.
7. When you pour that glass of wine at noon, or dinner, or bedtime or whatever time it is. That escape is often needed. Moulding tiny brains is exhausting! Hearing the word "mama" whined over and over, knowing they're talking to you, and you cannot make it stop, would drive anyone to drink!
8. Laughing when you witness karma getting back at your children, especially when you’ve nearly given yourself gray hairs repeating yourself constantly with warnings or words of wisdom that they will not listen to. Those “I told you so moments” are sometimes what gets you through the day!
9. Sitting in your vehicle for an extra 10 minutes before or after grocery shopping - alone - and enjoying that mini vacation. We all get it! Take those moments; they are few and far between! Call a friend, get a coffee, and drink it hot! You will thank you later!
10. Not feeling overcome with love and amazement for your offspring every moment. You’ve been touched, pulled or poked too much, and had enough gross boogers or other bodily functions wiped on you to last a lifetime. It’s OK to want to be YOU again! Just remember that you have changed; you are not the same person you once were. You might not recognize yourself anymore! You might have to get to know yourself again! We’ve had kids, we’re not the same anymore and that’s ok. Just always remember this:
You are an amazing mama.