Experienced Moms Share Their Advice With New Moms

Read their great advice that will help you make it through those first few months of motherhood.

 

 

  I was a single mom pregnant with my first (and only) child and I remember being so scared because I had never done this before and because I was going to be doing it all on my own.  I remember thinking that it was going to be a miracle if this baby I was carrying turned out to be a responsible, happy, well-adjusted adult.  Now that my daughter is all of those things and more, I can look back on that time and wish that I had known that I wasn't alone. I wish I had known just how valuable a support system of other young mothers would have been to me at the time.  I had a very supportive and loving family around me but what I truly needed were other moms going through the same things and experiencing the same emotions I was.  We needed to be there for each other, to help talk each other down when things felt overwhelming, to help each other recognize how important it is to take each moment as it comes and savor the time with our children, instead of worrying it away. With a little help from each other, we could have realized that we did have it within ourselves to be good moms all along.

 

  The expectation of a baby is a great deal different than the reality of a baby. I love my kids, but I wish there were some things I had known so I could have mentally and emotionally been better prepared. Instead of people telling me to get lots of sleep now, it would have been nice if someone had told me you're not going to sleep longer than a couple of hours at a time for the first 3 to 6 months of your baby's life.

It also would have been nice to have known that breastfeeding is a lot more difficult than you think. It's supposed to be so natural but it's actually pretty tough to get it going.

Lastly, I didn't realize how everything changes and how your life completely revolves around this little creature when I thought this tiny baby would just fit into my schedule.

 

  When I was expecting my first baby I was so careful about everything, probably because I was nervous about becoming a mom. I wanted to make sure I did everything right: how I ate, how much I exercised, how clean I kept the apartment. I was so excited for the baby to make its arrival that I didn't take time to enjoy the pregnancy.

What I know now, that I wish I knew then, was to just relax and enjoy being pregnant. To accept when people offered a seat on the bus. To stop trying to be the perfect mom-to-be and the perfect wife and to SLEEP more while I still had the time to sleep! These days when I meet women pregnant with their first baby, I tell them to get as much sleep as they can. In fact, they should sleep so much they are tired of sleeping!

Christella M Bowmanville, ON

 

  Oh boy, there are quite a few things I wish I knew then. First of all, I wish I could go back and tell myself that it was all going to be okay. I was so in love with this little baby that I hadn't met and I spent the majority of my pregnancy worried that something would go wrong. I wish I could go back and spend more time enjoying my pregnancy because at the time I didn't know it would be my first and only pregnancy.

I also wish that I knew to expect the unexpected. I attended all of the prenatal classes and learned all about the miracle of birth but I didn't pay much attention to the part about high blood pressure or c-sections. I never thought I would be in a situation where I'd need to have an emergency c-section because of high blood pressure. I wish I had a better understanding that once it's time to deliver your little baby, those birthing plans don't always go as we expect them too.

 

  Oh the list is long, but mostly I wish I knew that no matter how hard it was going to be, my husband and I would make it through. Through the late nights, the interrupted conversations, the stress about bills, the worry if we were doing it right. Everything compounded and affected my relationship with my husband.

I forgot that we were actually in this "TOGETHER."  Once we remembered that, we found our way again. We learned to talk around the kids, and squeeze in moments with each other. We laughingly say our hot tub saved our marriage... there is a whole story on THAT!   

So... yes. I wish I knew that it would be hard. That it would affect my marriage, but that if we did it together, if we remembered that we were PARENTS and PARTNERS ... that we would make it through!

Julie N Saltspring, BC

 

  Oh my...there's so much that I wish I knew then that I know now.  First, I wish I accepted help when it was offered to me. There were so many times people reached out, and I was too proud to accept and felt I had to take everything on by myself.  Also, I wish I knew to let things be and not feel like I had to have the house spotless and clean every second.  I REALLY wish I had listened to my mom's advice and SLEEP when the baby sleeps.  Instead, I chose to take on the laundry and cleaning because I felt that was the only time I'd get it done, instead of resting and catching up on those much needed Zzzzzs!  I wish I knew not to be so hard on myself as a new mom and not to expect to know it all.  Most importantly, I wish I knew then to not "blink" too much and to enjoy it for as long as I could because one day, it would all seem to go by too fast and they'd no longer be babies.

Brandi Y Woodstock, ON

 

I wish I knew that when my baby cried I didn't need to go into Defcon 5 mode and panic. Now all I say is 'She's cryin', she's not dyin.' I used to over panic and race around trying to fix everything at warp speeds and this only taught my baby that when she wanted anything, to skip soft cry and go straight into freak out mode.

Sheri L Edmonton, AB