My kids have too much STUFF! They are also currently spending three weeks at “Camp Grandma.” This annual summer tradition gives me many opportunities.
One such opportunity is my annual pilgrimage to my young children’s rooms and organize, organize, and organize more. I also admit that a few things hit the wastebasket or become donated. At the risk of being criticized for not respecting my kids space, I do attempt to involve them in this process. I try to play to their strengths - their empathy for others is strong.
Before we begin, we talk about who might really appreciate any of the things they don’t need any more. They are so brave at this point, so we get a box - just in case we find something they don’t really want anymore. That is THE moment their resolve disintegrates. Suddenly every stuffed animal, (broken) cheap plastic toy, every book, literally everything my little magpies have gathered since birth becomes a treasure that they simply CANNOT bear to part with or their entire existence will apparently come to a crashing end. And so, I am forced at times to do some weeding while they are away. I am pleased to report that (so far) I have not been caught.
As they grow older, however; I know they will eventually realize what is happening. I run the risk of making them even MORE fearful of letting go old things. What’s a Mom to do? I now find myself admitting that my goals for them really are (and should be) bigger than simply not ending up on an episode of TLCs “The Hoarders.” I want them to be able to find meaning and self-definition in the things they do for our world, not the things they own. What I really want is for them to be able to distinguish between NEED and WANT.
Having built a career before building a family, we have some measure of financial comfort. My husband and I have made the decision to live slightly beneath our means. I want my kids to be able to make smart decisions, so they too can be comfortable in whatever means they find in their futures. I’m afraid because I’ve watched otherwise good and smart people make what I consider really poor financial decisions.
I’ve watched people decline their employer sponsored health insurance because they can’t afford their portion of the premiums. Yet they can afford weekly manicures and somehow always seem to get the latest and greatest model of cell phone the minute it is on the market. Then their kids get sick...and they don’t know what to do. I’ve watched good people lose their homes to foreclosure because they got excited when an aggressive lender told them they qualified and could afford a home that was much bigger and much nicer than they could, in fact, afford. The examples abound...
So it’s not about the toys, or the clutter. I want to equip my kids to make good decisions and in order to that they must understand need vs. want.
I think this year, I will not cull the herd in their absence. I think I will continue to (attempt) to involve them in what so far has been a series of futile efforts. I cannot help but believe that the repeated conversations during our little exercises in decluttering will prove infinitely more valuable in shaping their little minds than actually getting rid of anything.
Printer-friendly version