So far I’m doing a pretty good job of fulfilling my life-long dream of mothering a brood. Since I can remember, the most desirable thing to me has been a loving husband, picket fence and a house full of noisy kids. What I couldn’t have anticipated amid all this procreation is the serious sweat involved in actually teaching my children something worthwhile.
In the last two years my motto has become “If it’s easy, you’re doing it wrong.”
Parenting properly requires you to get out of your chair and follow through with your threats. It requires a lot of talking, patience and vigilance – especially when you have three toddlers tag-teaming you from sunup to sundown.
A few days ago someone polled the Twitterverse to see if her expectation that her nine-year-old follow a morning routine is “appropriate.” I shook my head, reread the tweet, looked at her bio… then tweeted her back that my two-year old follows one…
In my house, anyone over eighteen months of age is somewhat self-sufficient. I had my eldest helping me unload the dishwasher by the time she could walk, and when my two-year old goes out in public with his shorts and sandals on backwards I’m thrilled that he dressed himself this morning. My kids can get themselves a drink of water, wash their hands after a meal, sweep and vacuum (though somewhat awfully…) and they love all of it. Really!
I’ve read before that chores help to give kids a sense of belonging and purpose within a family. I absolutely believe it. Any of my kids love to help set the table or run a bath or fold the laundry – my heart just swells to see the proud looks of accomplishment on their faces when they’ve done something new for themselves.
One of my oft-used phrases is “So, what are you going to do about it?”
I encourage the kids to sort out their own problems before I ever step in and help. This approach has led my daughter to say “No, thank you” to her brother smacking her with a plastic bat, to my son getting the stool to reach his own fork, and to the two of them helping each other to tidy the bookshelves, instead of whining about any of it. Sometimes their solutions make extra work for me (anything involving the bathrooms is usually one of those times…), but I’ll never punish them if they’ve put in an effort.
Steve Jobs said that “Innovation distinguishes between a leader and a follower.” I’m raising leaders, and nothing makes me prouder than watching their little wheels turn.
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