Cyberbullying: What You Need to Know

“It’s just a part of growing up.”

“Ignore him/her and they’ll stop.”

“Fight back.”

Most of us, at some point, have received advice like this about dealing a bully. Whether it was in school, on a sports team, at a job or even at home with a sibling.

Bullying continues to be a big problem for kids growing up today. But now, thanks to computers and cell phones, this behaviour has moved out of the school yard and into cyber space, where the end of the school day doesn’t always mean the end of the problem.

Cyberbullying has its own set of unique characteristics that can often make it more difficult that traditional bullying for kids and parents to cope with. For instance:

  Bullies can remain anonymous thanks to screen names and non-identifying email addresses.

  Bullies can pretend to be another person if they have access to account user names and passwords.

  Bullying can happen anywhere anytime, given that cyber space is everywhere all of the time – so just because school’s over, doesn’t mean the bullying will stop.

  Bullying can take many forms within the cyber space environment – phone calls, emails, instant messages, web pages dedicated to bullying an individual or group.

  There is capacity for instant and limitless dissemination of words and images because once it’s online, everyone has access.

What Can You Do To Help?

1. Keep your computer and web cam in a central part of the house instead of in a bedroom, and never let younger children use chat rooms unsupervised.
2. Talk to your kids about cyber safety – make sure they know to keep their passwords and personal information private, not to respond to email or instant messages from people they don’t know, and that they understand that anything they post online leaves a permanent record.
3. Learn what you can about your kids’ online world – ask them to show you some of their favourite sites and explore the Internet yourself so that you become more comfortable with their online world.
4. Reassure your kids that they can come to you for help if they run into trouble online. Don’t threaten to take away the computer in order to ‘protect’ or punish young people. They may not turn to you for help if they are worried you will cut them off from their online world.
5. Finally, know what options are available to you and your child if they encounter bullying in cyber space – reporting the behaviour to site administrators, blocking people on Windows Live Messenger or email, talking to school officials if the bully is at your child’s school, talking to the police if your child is being threatened.

The most important thing for adults to remember is that kids need our support to deal with all forms of bullying.

You Aren’t Alone

Most parents today didn’t have to deal with issues like cyberbullying as kids. And it can be hard to know how to help when your child comes to you looking for support on an issue you don’t fully understand. That’s why it’s reassuring to know that Kids Help Phone is always open – 24 hours a day, 365 days a year, by phone and online.

The service is free to use for kids (5-20) from anywhere in Canada, and when they call or post a question online, they’re connected to a professional counsellor who talks to young people every day about every issue imaginable.

Kids can connect with a Kids Help Phone counsellor by phone at 1-800-668-6868 or online at kidshelpphone.ca.