This is How You Ask About Your Kid's Day Without Asking About Their Day

When I sent my first son off to kindergarten, I had what can only be described as an ‘ah ha’ moment. (Correction; it was more of a “holy sh*t, I’ve been downsized and now somebody else is looking after my child who I’ve cared for full-time for the past 3 years and 10 months” moment.)

The realization hit me that he now had a whole other life outside of me, and damn if I didn’t want to know what was going on in that life.

For the first few years, the how was your day question was all I needed. He couldn’t wait to talk. In fact, there were days when I wished he’d shut up a bit. We’ll file that under ‘be careful what you wish for.’ Because as both my kids got older, how was your day was responded to with a “fine” and the sound of feet bounding up the stairs.

Day after day I would ask the same question and day after day, I would get the same response. That right there is the definition of insanity.

So, I changed the game and came up with some new questions.

But secondly, I began to wait until dinner to ask anything because it turns out after a full day of school, both boys really just wanted some downtime. Turns out, when you ask is just as important as how you ask.

No Consequence Questions:

These are question they can answer honestly without getting into trouble, so make sure you are 100% certain you won’t do a 180 and ground them.

What did you throw out instead of eating today?
On a scale of 1 to 10 how likely is there to be a health inspector sent to your locker/desk?
If I was going to get a call from one of your teachers who would it be and why?

What’s Going On Questions:

These are the questions that will give you insight into their day.

Where do you hang out at recess?
Your teacher has three words to describe you: What are they?
If you could choose who to sit with in your class, who would it be?
How would you describe (insert teacher’s name here).

Find Out What Sucks Questions:

If you could cancel one class for the year, which one would it be. Why?
Does anyone in your class have a hard time following the rules?
What rules at school do you feel are unfair? (But also let them know you can’t change those rules and they still need to be respected).