What would you do if your husband abducted your children?
On my way to work the other morning, my favorite radio station was talking about PM Justin Trudeau’s announcement of the upcoming royal visit. I couldn’t have been angrier. While getting a haircut, I picked up the Toronto Star and read about our Prime Minister tweeting a photo of his wife breast feeding. I was livid. Before you start thinking that I have anything against either the Monarchy or breast feeding, let me explain.
My friend’s four children were abducted by her ex-husband last August. They have been in Iraq and then Iran for the past year. Our Prime Minister is the only person who can help to bring them back to Canada. My friend, Alison, met with Trudeau in May. He assured her that the file was on his desk and he would give the return of her children top priority. Despite numerous attempts to follow up, Alison has had little information from our government since.
A year ago, Alison Azer was issued a court order to turn over her children and their passports to her ex-husband for a two week vacation to Europe. The court also ordered that Alison’s ex, Saren Azer, be back in Canada two weeks later, returning the four Azer children and their passports to their mother, the primary custodial parent.
Alison didn’t have an issue with the children vacationing with their father, but pleaded with the crown that they stay in Canada. After 11 years of marriage, she knew exactly how to predict what Saren would do. Her instinct told her that this vacation was part of plan to facilitate a kidnapping. Her 10 year-old daughter had figured it out, too. An extremely intuitive child, she begged her mother not to make her go on this vacation. When Alison asked for the court’s support, she was accused of being hysterical, over-reactive and intentionally upsetting her children. There was no apology when the children failed to contact Alison for the court ordered phone call two days after arriving in France. Also no offer of assistance or apology when 12 days later, the children and their father failed to board the return flight to Vancouver.
Since that day, every hour of Alison’s time is consumed with the effort to bring her children home. Saren first took the children to Iraq. Alison boarded a plane, hired a translator, and spent nearly three months travelling through a war torn country in the hopes of finding Sharvahn, Rojevahn, Dersim and Meitan. She got very close but when she did, her ex took the four children aged 3 – 11, over the border to Iran.
The court had been responsible for putting the Azer children in harm’s way. Alison naively thought that they would immediately move forward to return the children to Canada. She was wrong. The RCMP quickly issued a warrant for Saren’s arrest and placed him on an international fugitive list but that was the extent of their involvement. It appeared there was no Canadian initiative in place for dealing with an international parental abduction.
Alison was on her own.
Although born in Iran, Saren had come to Canada as a Kurdish refugee. Saren and Alison met and fell in love at the University of Alberta. After they married, she worked so that he could attend medical school. After graduating he continued his education and became an Internist. Saren wanted to become a Canadian citizen, a goal he accomplished in November 2006. In 2010 when Saren was offered a job at St. Joseph’s Hospital in the Comox Valley, Alison was looking forward to moving to Vancouver Island and spending quality time with her children and husband. For the first time in her marriage she was no longer to be the primary bread winner.
It was soon after the move that Saren’s moderate Muslim views changed dramatically. Their democratic marriage was now a dictatorship. Alison and the children were expected to follow his rules without questions or opinions. Saren felt that even his wife’s wardrobe choices were now subject to his approval. The household became a very tense place to be. One afternoon, when Saren threatened extreme violence on Alison and the children, she and the four kids took refuge at a women’s shelter. She knew this was no way to live and decided that the marriage was now over.
Throughout the turbulent divorce and custody fight that followed, Alison was comforted and supported by four friends. This group of women can trace their friendship back to primary school. When the children were taken, Alison’s first call was to Krista Monson. A theatrical producer, formerly with Cirque de Soleil, Krista went into crisis mode. The Find Azer Kids Now children team started with these four friends calling on everyone they could think of who might be able to help or increase awareness. Without any manual to follow, it has been hard work and they’ve been through many frustrating times.
Alison’s cry for political assistance started with her own MP, Gord Johns, a first term NDPer in the riding of Courtney-Alberni. Alison has found Johns to be first rate. He’s been very kind and generous with his time and support. No question in his mind that four Canadian children held in Iran against their will was a time sensitive matter and should be a top priority. He’s also been very honest. Despite numerous attempts, Johns wasn’t able to get enough support and cooperation in the house to push this case forward. He wishes he could bring the kids home but the Prime Minister is the only person who can do that. Johns suggested that Alison reach out to other people in power and try to make them listen to her story and feel her pain. He suggested that she try to meet with Liberal MPs and other Canadians of influence to plead her case.
Asking for help wasn’t something that Alison had much practice at. Growing up in a stoic Scottish family she was used to working hard and solving her own problems. Now, she realized she had to reach out and ask for assistance. She can’t be shy when it comes to the safety and well- being of Sharvahn, Rojevahn, Dersim and Meitan. The Azer kids aren’t able to rescue themselves. They need our government to care and take swift action.
I met Alison on July 6th of this year when my friend and client, Amanda Lindhout hosted a party for 20 women. Like Alison, Amanda is originally from Alberta. She is the author of A House in the Sky, a brilliant memoir of her 14 months of captivity in Somolia. Amanda’s book has been on the New York Times bestseller list for over two years. She has a big heart and hoped that introducing Alison to some Toronto friends might spark more awareness and support in this part of the country.
I had a tough time sleeping after returning home from Amanda’s that night. Thinking of a mother missing her four children made me sad, but also angry as I couldn’t believe that Canada wasn’t doing more to help. As I lie awake, I knew that I had to try in every way possible to help this mom save her children. The next day I emailed Amanda and said I wanted to join the Alison team.
When I met with Alison the following day, our connection was immediate. An elegant and articulate woman, Alison misses and loves her children with every fibre of her being. My youngest daughter is the same age as Alison’s oldest. Many times, I thought of my own daughters. At 12 and 15, they want to spend time with me every day. My kids are independent but they don’t even want to be away at camp for more than a week at a time because they love our time together as a family. If they were suddenly taken away from me and from their home and friends, they would be devastated. I can’t even imagine how I would handle it. Like most moms, a year without my children is one of the worst nightmares I can imagine. Although Alison tears up whenever she speaks of her kids, she can only try to go forward each day in the hope that every effort brings her family closer to home.
I began my efforts by sending emails to everyone I knew, letting them know of Alison’s situation and asking for their help. Alison has an online petition. Every time someone signs, it is messaged to the Prime Minister’s office. This lets our government know that Canadians think this case is important, that we want action for Alison. Our Prime Minister must make contact with President Hassan Rouhani of Iran and bring the Azer children home. Our lack of diplomatic relations with Iran has become the standard government response for not taking any initiative. This reply just isn’t good enough. These four beautiful Canadian children won’t understand that they have been abandoned by their country because of politics. Iran wants to improve relations with our country. In fact Saren Azer was detained after crossing into Iran. The border guard checked the Interpol list and found the RCMP arrest warrant. They made contact with Canada and we didn’t respond. As he hasn’t committed a crime in Iran, Saren Azer was released.
I asked my contacts to sign the petition and share with their own network, but also to think about initiating a meeting with their MP to champion the cause. In my email I also suggested a small donation.
The response has been amazing. My two business partners were the first of my contacts to sign. Both are savvy business people but also great dads. Like me, they wanted to do something for these children. All good parents have a thread that binds us. Regardless of our differences, we all want to protect our children and offer them the happiest life we can. For most of us, that powerful instinct to protect our young will also extend to other people’s children. I’ve seen the proof of this so many times this summer.
In my business life, I’m a talent agent representing actors and writers. My clients have been outstanding. The number of actors who signed this petition, posted it on their social media and then reached out to thank me for bringing this matter to their attention was so impressive. It reminded me of what drew me to this industry so many years ago. Part of being a good actor is the knowledge of how to live in the moment and feel someone else’s pain. My work community felt the pain of children taken away from their mother and wasted no time sending the message that Canadians care. Casting directors, producers, directors and of course my fantastic office staff were also quick to respond.
My other community is moms. My emails went out to parents on the school list, sport’s team list, my adoption travel groups, people I know well and people I hardly know at all. Once again, it is so life affirming to see that people care.
Please join me in asking our government to bring Sharvahn, Rojevahn, Dersim and Meitan home where they belong by signing and sharing this petition www.findazerkidsnow.com
Alison and I have talked about our hope for the day when we can introduce our children to each other, when we can take them all away on a vacation to some super kid friendly destination. As I, along with other parents, prepare for the school year to begin, my wish is that this time next year, the Azer kids will have returned to their mom and will also be picking out their new back packs and school supplies and joining all the Canadian kids for the start of another academic year at a Canadian school.
Prime Minister Trudeau please make this happen.
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