The imp invited two friends to her 11th birthday party in January. She was excited. We’re going to see Disney’s Phineas and Ferb: Live at the Rogers Centre. They accepted earlier on this week. Last night she found out that one of the friends was having a sleepover for her birthday, and she wasn’t invited. The imp sobbed in her bed last night. She thought they were close.
I hate kids' birthdays. Someone is always left out. Someone always has tears. Someone always has a mother who wants to ask: “Why isn’t my kid good enough for you?”
The imp, an only child, doesn’t have play dates a lot. She isn’t asked over to other girls' houses. I’ve asked a few mothers about potential play dates back in the day, and I never heard back. The imp was invited to one birthday this year. It worked well for my wallet; however, it didn’t work that well for her confidence. All of the imp’s teachers have commented on her sense of humour. Last year for the school talent show, the imp's stage presence elicited laughs from the whole audience. I had a teacher quickly tap me and say, “This is where she shines!!!” Her Girl Guide leaders, too, tell me about her empathy for others. She is a very good kid. I think she is awesome.
Is it because I have to work full time, so I’m not there with all the other moms when they pick up the kids after school? Are they uncomfortable that the sidekick (a.k.a. the spouse, a.k.a. dad) is the stay-at-home parent because of a disability? Did I do something? Maybe I didn't do enough?
I went back to school to study social services. I love what I do now; however, knowing intellectually what to say to a child versus that child being your own daughter are two whole different things. I told the imp that we need to listen to the other side. Maybe the other girl was only allowed two friends to stay over. Maybe because it was a sleepover and the imp sometimes has trouble with them, they didn’t want to make her uncomfortable. The main thing, I told her, is that we don’t strike out and make someone hurt when we are hurt. It takes a strong person to do it, but the more people who are able to master this, the better our world will be.
I don’t know, maybe I should have said something else.
What do you think?