Tanya Enberg: Unexpected Mother


Our Baby's Latest Skill Inspires Men to Run for the Hills


Two weeks ago baby B took his first steps. He maxed out at three before plopping on his behind. Thankfully baby bottoms are adorably padded, making these frequent learning-to-walk tumbles more tolerable.

Fast-forward to today and he just walked almost an entire circle around our kitchen island. That is roughly 10 baby Frankenstein steps.

He’s developing some crazy, mad skills for sure.

He can roar like a bear, says ‘wow!’ whenever he sees something delightful and for a long time he has said something that sounds a lot like ‘what’s that?’ Lately this has become more audible and, as it turns out, the child really is asking, what’s that? Huh.

But all of these milestones are not the point of my story. There are a few other grand developments I am particularly fixated on.

As many moms can attest to, babies often say ‘da-da’ first over say, ma-ma-ma. Baby B has been saying da-da-da-da for ages so this isn’t a this-just-in development.

But, he has learned to combine da-da-da with two other new notable skills — pointing and waving.

This is only problematic for one teeny, tiny reason. See no man wants an unfamiliar child pointing at him and waving excitedly while yelling ‘Da-Da-Da!’ 

These guys are probably looking at me thinking ‘I’ve never even seen that woman before in my life!’ before breathing a sigh of relief. Each time it happens (which is daily), I think ‘You are not the father!’ and it all feels so late-night Maury Povich. I half expect them to break out into an obnoxious celebratory dance complete with fist pumps.   

Still, Baby B doesn’t let up. 

As man after man hurriedly recedes into the distance, our son projects his voice even louder, just in case they didn't hear him the first dozen times.

Anyway, this can all be a tad awkward. Regardless, my husband and I are very proud of our little B.

He’s learning how to communicate and express himself and very soon I am confident he’ll understand that simply being male isn't the only prerequisite for achieving 'da-da' status and that when you’re trying to make new friends, calling random dudes dad isn’t exactly the best approach. Fingers crossed.