We have a, uh, fat cat. I mean, she's not newsworthy fat but when she runs, her stomach swings side to side and she expands quite noticeably when she lays down. Also, we never have to worry about her jumping on to our dining room table because she can't really jump. It's actually a little embarrassing to have a cat this fat—people look at us like we're bad cat parents. Then they tell us we should make sure she gets more exercise and reduce her food intake.
I'm not actually sure how you make a cat exercise more. The kids tried to put her on the treadmill once but that didn't end well. When we reduced her food intake, she took to biting ankles. Most notably, mine. These are not little love nips, I'm pretty sure she's trying to eat me. So I feed her.
I'm fighting for my life here, people.
Lately Son No. 1 and Son No. 2 have been wanting to put the cat on a diet. They've come up with a few ideas none of which have worked. Until now...
TA DA!
It's the Anti-Fat Cat Chamber!
It works by blocking the food until the gate is opened.
Then the cat is allowed seven minutes inside the chamber with the food.
It's seven minutes in heaven, the cat version.
Welcome to my house. Please hang your straightjacket beside the door on your right.
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