$1,892.58
That’s how much we’ve spent on swimming lessons this past year.
I’ll just let that sink in for a minute.
One thousand, eight hundred, ninety-two dollars and fifty-eight cents.
Do you have any idea what I could do with that amount of money?
It’s like nine trips to the salon for cut colour and highlights, groceries for six months, botox for two years, half our family vacation or enough wine to keep me happy for a very long time. Or short depending on the kind of day I'm having.
Why did we spend so much on swimming? Well…there was this, so when one of your kids almost dies because you’re the world’s shittiest parent you try to do something about it. Plus swimming is a life skill. They can bail on soccer or hockey or whatever else, but I’ll be damned if they’re going to be going through life not knowing how to swim.
My kids hated swimming lessons. HATED. Although they wouldn’t actually say they hated the swimming lessons, just the mother who took them there.
Son No. 1 also hated getting in the water.
And getting his face wet.
And floating.
Are you starting to see why we’ve needed to spend $1,800?
But then something miraculous happened *calls pope* and in one year they went from Swimming Level One to Swimming Level Three.
Here’s a comment from Son No. 1’s swimming report card:
Your back crawls are superb – perhaps the best I’ve ever seen teaching this level.
So how does one go from hating even getting into the water to having a superb back crawl?
This is where I’m going to let you in on two magical little secrets.
Ready?
It had little to do with the $1,800 and everything to do with taking the kids public swimming.
Hubby was the one who started the public swim fun *rolls eyes* and within two times, they just sort of blossomed. They were so busy having fun, their fear was forgotten. Soon they were swimming underwater, jumping off the edge and basically not wanting to get out of the pool….ever.
And yes, I took them too which meant me donning a bathing suit in public and actually swimming (I’m more of a floater) instead of laying on a towel beside the pool reading Twilight which is about as high up on my things I want to do list as a public pap smear but you do this stuff for your kids because you love them and also because you nearly let them drown so parading around in a sausage casing doesn’t seem like such a bad alternative.
Magic trick No. 2 is letting them wear goggles during their swim lessons. And I’m not talking about the ones that just cover the eyes, I'm talking full on scuba mask. And if the teacher is all “they aren’t allowed to wear those” I suggest you take out the receipt for all the lessons you paid for and nicely tell her that (a) until they started wearing a full face scuba mask, they were in Swimming Level 1 purgatory and (b) if wearing the mask helps them focus on swimming instead of trying to keep water off their faces, then the mask stays. Period.
So if you’re a mom of kids who don’t like swimming lessons, take my advice from above. You may just save yourself enough money to cover your roots for the next three years.
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