I’m guilty of saying this word, you’re guilty of saying this word and, in fact, I would make a money bet that every mom reading this is guilty of using this word at least once.
Yet each and every time you use it you are undermining yourself.
The word?
How many times in daily conversations have you used "just" when describing who you are, what you do, or what you have achieved?
What do you do?
Oh, me? I’m just a stay at home mom.
What did you do today?
Not much, just went to work, made dinner, and got the kids to their activities.
Did you manage to go out for a run today?
No, there was no time. I just took the dogs for a walk.
Two years ago my oldest son overheard me talking to a friend on the phone. At some point she asked me if I went to boot camp that day and I responded, “No, I couldn’t make it so I just went for a 5k run.”
When I hung up the phone, my son asked me why I said I “just” ran 5k. I shrugged my shoulders because I honestly didn’t have an answer.
So I asked him, “What did you think when you heard me say that?”
“I wondered why you’re so hard on yourself,” he responded. And what he said next is something I will never forget, “How come you high-fived me for running 1k at school but you said “just” when you ran 5k?
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And he was right. Why did I say that? Did I brush it aside because I didn’t want to look like I was bragging? Did I not want my friend to feel bad that she didn’t go out and run 5k? Was I not proud I went out for a 5k run?
It’s inconceivable that we would use "just" when referencing our kids. We would never say to them, “You just scored one goal” after they finished playing soccer or “You just got an 89% on your math test.”
Because "just" focuses on the end result and not the effort. When you preface the ten things you did today with "just" or tell someone you are "just" a stay at home mom you are silently saying it’s not good enough.
We don’t use the word just with our kids because we know it sends this message. Yet not only do we not hesitate to use it when describing ourselves, most times we don’t even realizing we’re doing it.
And each and every time you use it, you are undermining who you are and what you have done or achieved.
So I’m asking you right here and now to take the word just out of your vocabulary.
Because you’re not “just” anything.
You're awesome.
P.S. This entire post could also be used with the word “only” so stop using that too.
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