I got a lot of problems with you people!
Festivus began in 1997 after it was featured in a Seinfeld episode and is celebrated on December 23rd each year. What started as a television show lark has now become a tradition for many families around the world because really….WHO DOESN’T HAVE GREIVANCES TO AIR?
Festivus is a simple holiday. It begins with the Festivus dinner, followed by The Airing Of Greivances but this anti-Christmas holiday isn’t over until the head of the household is wrestled to the floor and pinned. That’s you, parents! And it’s you – the head of the household – who gets to choose who will participate in the Feats of Strength.
Only every good parent knows that even though young kids have the magical ability to turn into a human ironing board when you attempt to put them into a car seat, they don’t make very good wrestlers.
So leave the wrestling for your bedroom antics on Christmas Eve while you’re waiting for Santa to come and do these family friendly feats of strength instead.
The hardest part of arm wrestling with kids is trying to pretend you’re making an effort. Not so with thumb wars. Kids have deceptively strong, fast thumbs. I believe it’s an evolutionary characteristic that allows them to open a can or Cream Soda and chug half of it before you even realize the tab has been popped.
Mercy is when two partners stand facing each other and hold hands, palms facing towards each other. At the sound of the bell, each partner tries to bend the other’s wrist until someone calls Mercy.
Parents, be warned:
(a) Kids will use their entire body weight and you will be bowed down on your knees like a nun in church in less time than it takes to say help me.
(b) Some kids won’t call mercy because they are stubborn. Please use common sense and break up the game if you sense this is happening. Festivus Fun shouldn’t land you in the Emergency Room-ious.
Take advantage of wet and sticky snow. Strap on your snow gear and get outside for this kids vs adults event. Each team starts with a snowball and rolls it into the snow, then you keep rolling it until it can’t be moved. Whoever has the biggest ball wins.
This is guaranteed to be a hit simply because you’re using the phrase big balls about 72 times a minute.
Bonus points if you turn the balls into a snowman.
Line up against the wall. No, not like that time you got arrested. This time you want your back up against the wall and you don’t have to spread ‘em. Then squat down until your legs are at a 90 degree angle and hold. The person who hold that position the longest wins.
Parents: Telling jokes and throwing marshmallows at your fellow squatters is perfectly acceptable.
Trust me. It’s the only way you’re going to win.