Sharon DeVellis: Inside Scoop


We All Have Sh*t Going On

Really, It's True

Humans, for the most part, are a very egocentric group. Granted, it’s a Darwinian thing. Being self-centred has kept us alive for millions of years. When one has to outrun a sabre-tooth tiger you learn quite quickly to take care of yourself.

For the record, you don’t have to run faster than a sabre-tooth tiger, you only have to run faster than your slowest hunting partner.

Thankfully we no longer have to worry about our dinner turning on us but we’re still a pretty self-centred bunch. The thing is, while it’s all about us (preservation wise), we sometimes forget other people have shit going on too.

Crazy concept, right?

I’ve been seeing it more and more lately, where people jump to the wrong conclusion because they think it’s all about them.

Someone didn’t answer your email right away? What an asshole.

Meanwhile, the asshole in question just learned his aunt passed away. Or her three-year-old twins decided last week they want to party all night long and the whole family is now an experiment in sleep deprivation.

You sent a DM and it didn’t get a response. For the first hour you’re okay but then after hour two you start to get mad. Why is she shunning me? I can see her on Twitter! Why isn’t she responding? Well, fine! Whatever. I never liked her anyway.

In the meantime the shunner has no idea what’s going on because she isn’t shunning you, she simply stepped away from the computer to make dinner, answer the phone, throw in a load of laundry and spend time with the family. Chances are she hasn’t even checked her DMs.

You posted on Facebook about your amazing opportunity and only seven people liked it. I guess nobody cares.  

Not at all. It’s just that at that very moment in time your other 120 friends probably have shit going on.

Because we all have shit going on.

The person who didn’t hold the door open for you? Rude, but maybe he just found out he’s going to lose his job.

The cashier you sighed at because she was slower than you’d like? She’s supporting her children on her own and works two jobs.

The friend you had a conversation with and she seemed distracted the whole time? It’s not because you’re not interesting, it’s because…

She has shit going on.

Here’s the thing…most times it’s not about you. There’s a whole interesting world out there and weirdly, it doesn’t revolve around one singular person. So the next time you’re upset because someone didn’t respond to you in the way you expected or in the timeline you have set out in your head, instead of jumping to the worst possible conclusion, take a step back and think of it from a different point of view.

Maybe they aren’t being mean or rude or excluding you.

Maybe they just have some shit going on.

And I bet if you took a moment to ask them about it, they’d really appreciate it.