15 Things You Should Never Say to Pregnant Women

Dear person who is about to talk to a pregnant woman,

A friend of mine who is pregnant—and might I add, looks beautiful—has had the misfortune of being spoken to by complete morons who have no regard for her feelings and clearly don't understand (or choose to overlook) the fact that it requires some weight gain and body shape changes in order to grow a baby. And that this all happens at different rates and stages, depending on the woman. Being someone who has housed two humans myself (one of which was only 7 short months ago), I thought it appropriate to send out a reminder of how not to speak to a pregnant woman about her body.

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Please think about the fact that the woman you are about to talk to is growing a human being inside of her. A HUMAN BEING. Also, remember that this woman has feelings—no wait—her feelings are on steroids and her emotions are on a hormonal rollercoaster that doesn't stop until long after this human being that she is growing all by herself comes out in an intense and painful way.

Please do not say the following:

"You're so ____(insert "big," "humongous," "huge," "large")!"

This is just plain rude. Who says this ever to anyone?

"Are you having twins?!"

Just don't even go there. Even if you truly think this person is having twins, they're likely not, so just don't.

"Wow, you've really popped!"

No shit! There's a baby in there!

"Your baby is going to be huge!"

Gotta love this little gem. I heard this many a time when I was pregnant with both of my babies. Do you have a magic ultrasound machine that you carry around with you at all times that can measure and weigh babies in utero? No? Then shut up.

"How much weight have you gained?!"

Who do you think you are asking this question? It is none of your business no matter who you are!

"Looks like you're truly eating for two!"

Who says this? No really, who says this?!

"Oh really, you're only 4 months along?!"

Translation for a pregnant woman: Wow, you are WAY too big to only be 4 months along, so just imagine how humongous you're going to become later in your pregnancy! Would you say that to this same person?! No, ok then zip it.

"Oh, you're carrying all over (motions with hands over entire surface of own body)."

What does that even mean?! It sounds like what you're trying to say is that she has gained weight all over her body and she really should only be carrying a basketball of a baby out front. You've just squashed this woman's already vulnerable self-esteem.

"Wow! You must be getting close!"

But what if she's not close at all? What if she's only just entered her second trimester?

"That baby growing inside you is so big!"

Really encouraging words to a woman who might be a bit nervous of labour.

"I think your baby is coming early. Your dates must be wrong. You are way too big"

Yep, this was actually said.

"You are so much bigger than any other pregnant woman I have seen before"

Really? Are you kidding me? This is so insulting and mean. Who would say this?!

"Isn't it a little early to have a bump?"

Everybody starts showing at different stages of pregnancy, and this is dependent on many things. Why make this woman feel awful and as though it is wrong to be showing a little bump earlier than someone else?