I was warned, before the arrival of our first baby, that once you have children it's easy to toss the romance to side, letting it gather dust in the corners. Life changes, priorities shift, and let’s face it, sometimes you are just too tired...so very very tired. When you're trying to juggle diaper changes, laundry, school runs, and playdates the thought of adding one more to do to the list seems impossible. Cozy pj’s, a nice book, and your bed seem like the best option sometimes.
Yet here we are, almost 12 years together, seven years of marriage and two children and romance is still alive! It may require a little more effort and a bit of imagination and it's definitely not the Hallmark definition of romance, but look closely and you will see the passion is still alive within us.
The moment my first child was born my love for Mr. C grew ten fold. When I saw the kind of man he was as he rocked our baby, I knew this was the man I was going to grow old with and I would do whatever it would take to make this marriage a happy one.
Romance, for us, is not defined by candlelit dinners or expensive gifts. It’s not flashy. You won’t find it in a fancy restaurant or wrapped in a pretty blue box. Contrary to many of the meme’s that I see floating around social media, I do not consider doing the dishes romantic. Flowers and chocolate are not the way to my heart. Wait! Scratch that; the path to my heart is always lined with chocolate.
Romance doesn’t die once you have kids but it does change, it evolves. It’s not always found in the obvious places but if you look for it, your love story can be found in the hidden corners of your life.
Romance is putting the kids to bed early so you can indulge in burgers and fries while watching a movie that doesn’t include animation or characters who randomly break out in song.
Romance is in the way he looks at you while you are helping the kids with homework.
Romance is placing my feet in my husband's lap at the end of a long day for a nice foot rub.
Romance is late night scrabble games.
Romance is when he chooses to go to East Side Mario’s for his birthday dinner just because his kids love it.
Romance is wandering through Target together at 9:30 on a Saturday night date night just to have a few more minutes alone.
Romance is dancing together in the kitchen while your kids look on giggling.
Romance is chatting over coffee on a lazy Sunday morning and feeling sad when one of you gets up to take a shower.
Romance is the moment he grabs your hand while skating with the family and it feels like it’s just the two of you on that rink.
Romance is when your exhausted husband tells you to go take a bath and he’ll do story time tonight.
Romance is when he lies at the end of your bed rubbing your feet while you cry yourself to sleep after having a miscarriage.
Romance is when he wraps himself around you from behind while you stand at the sink doing dishes, surprising you with a kiss.
Romance is when he brings home your favourite chocolate just cause he was thinking of you when he was out running errands.
Romance is holding hands while you walk to the park.
Romance is when your kids smile at the sight of you kissing.
Romance is laughing, big belly laughs that cause tears to roll down your cheeks.
Romance is knowing there is no one else in the world that you'd want to take this journey with.
It's not about grand gestures or who gets the biggest bouquets, it's a feeling that starts deep within your soul. The answer lies in how you look at things, spotting those moments of romance amongst the every day chaos is sure to put a smile on your face and warmth in your heart. The moment that baby enters your lives everything changes, romance, is no exception. You just have to learn to look for it in different places. Our passion can be found scattered all over this beautiful life we have created with each other.