Parents ask me a lot of questions about how they can talk to their children about sex.
But every once in awhile, someone wants to know what my parents told me about sex. Did they provide a model of open communication and comprehensive information? Or is my choice of career the ultimate rebellion against a highly restrictive sexual upbringing?
It's all menstruation all the time with me these days! Now that I’ve covered the basics of having hot, period sex, I have to share what has become my favourite video of the week—this long-form ad for Hello Flo.
This past Friday, a man named Elliot Rodger stabbed and shot 13 people in Isla Vista, California. Six of his victims died. Rodger is also dead of a gunshot wound to the head—self inflicted, according to the last reports I heard.
For me, one of the challenges of being an educational sex writer is fighting the temptation to offer up advice and information like some of kind of sex talkin’ know-it-all. Don’t get me wrong. I’ve been lucky to learn a lot of cool things about sex over the years and I love sharing that knowledge. But being the “sex expert” sometimes lets me avoid being vulnerable, which for many of us, is a big part of being sexual.
A recent story over at Mummy Buzz featured news of Jill Duggar (of 19 Kids and Counting fame) and her fiance Derrick Dillard. Reportedly, the pair have decided to hold off, not only on sex, but also kissing, until they’re married.
Attention! The hymen isn’t what you think it is. Or at least it’s not what I thought it was, for most of my life. In fact, it was only a year or so ago that I learned exactly how the “cherry”—as it’s commonly known—works.
I have very mixed feelings about the sheer volume of sexual content youth have access to these days. Someday I’ll write out those thoughts in more detail, but for now, my ambiguity can be summarized thusly:
Lots of sexual content yay: I believe sex is a normal part of most people's lives. It happens a lot in real life, so I like the part where that’s kind of reflected in our media.
For most of us doing the parenting thing, making sure our kids grow up safe, healthy and happy is tops on the priority list. It makes sense that when the conversation rolls around to sex, many of us take a cautionary approach. We warn them about the risks of sexually transmitted infections and unintended pregnancy. We might encourage them to put off partnered sex until they’re ready - often until they’ve reached a particular age, life stage or rite of passage that we associate with adulthood.
During the first term of my doctorate, one of our professors introduced me to the “Yes/No/Maybe” list. It’s a technique so simple, yet so effective, I was a little embarrassed that I’d never thought it of before. For those of you who aren’t familiar with the technique, it’s a super easy way of defining your sexual boundaries and communicating those boundaries to your partner.
Body image issues suck—and not in a good way—but it isn’t only our own struggles that can get us down. You may know your sexual partner is a stone fox, but if they aren’t feeling their own sexiness, it can be tough on a relationship.
Things that top my turn-off list include: bragging, the smell of hot dogs . . . and obligation. I regularly punk-out on birthday sex, anniversary sex . . . I didn’t even have sex on my wedding night. Not because I’m opposed to celebrating these occasions—I live for birthday cake, anniversary dinners, and Valentine’s Day chocolate.
Have you seen the Instagram pics of Kordale and Kaleb? The two beautiful dads and their equally beautiful kids have been making the Internet rounds this week. Are you swooning as much as I am? These photos fill my heart with warmth and glee (and a few very womanly feelings), because:
After I saw this Tedx talk, by sexuality educator Marnie Goldenberg, I wanted to stand up and applaud. I didn’t, because I was watching on my laptop in the middle of a crowded cafe, but I did post it all over my Twitter and Facebook, and now I’m sharing it with all of you.
I'm not really a pop drinker, but I really am a fan of this commercial for Coke, which manages to capture the madcap whirlwind of early parenthood. It's exhaustion, confusion, absurdity and chaos, yet we find these moments of from-the-gut joy that keep us going.