You guys. This ad. My heart.
I'm not really a pop drinker, but I really am a fan of this commercial for Coke, which manages to capture the madcap whirlwind of early parenthood. It's exhaustion, confusion, absurdity and chaos, yet we find these moments of from-the-gut joy that keep us going.
And can I tell you how thrilled I am to see that the every day dealings of this young family include parents having—or at least trying—to have. This is exactly the sort of life-affirming, normalizing depiction of sex I love to see more of. People with kids are sexual. It's not sensationalized or glamourized; just funny and relatable. I know this ad runs in Argentina, but it's a nice reminder for those of in North America that we can include sex in our media without it being all titillating and provocative. I personally would have no qualms about watching this ad with my young son. It might even make a good jumping off point for a conversation about sex.
Well played, Coke. Well played.
Have you seen this ad? If so how did you react? How do you feel about seeing sex in an ad for cola?
There have been some pretty alarming reports about the NuvaRing swirling around the Internet this week. The NuvaRing is a form of hormonal contraceptive delivered via a flexible ring which is inserted inside the vagina for three weeks every month.
Serious concerns about the safety of the NuvaRing arose after women who were using the contraceptive, developed serious and sometimes fatal cases of venous thrombosis, commonly referred to as blood clots. Complaints about other health problems associated with the vaginal ring have resulted in over 1300 federal lawsuits have been filed against Merck, the manufacturer of the NuvaRing.
Vanity Fair and Jezebel have both published articles which include some heart-wrenching personal stories and contain some alarming numbers. I was pretty concerned when I read about healthy women suddenly falling ill and sometimes dying from blood clots, that may have been cause by the vaginal ring. Birth control is suppose to provide peace of mind, not freak us out.
Navigating health-related information can be stressful and scary sometimes. Sexual health can be especially tricky, as it’s a tough subject for some people to talk about. This new news about the NuvaRing is concerning and if you’re upset by it, here are a few suggestions that might help put you at ease.
Before we continue, big important disclaimer time. I am an educator, NOT a scientist and definitely NOT a doctor! I’ve sharing information I’ve pulled from sources I trust, but I am in no way, shape or form qualified to give medical advice.
Pieces like the ones written for Vanity Fair are meant to capitalize on emotion. Which doesn’t make them untrue. But personally, I like to do a little more digging and see what else is going on when a story like this emerges. So far I haven’t found enough evidence to condemn or recommend the NuvaRing outright. Like all forms of hormonal contraception, blood clotting is risk factor. According to this study out of Denmark, the risk is higher with the vaginal ring than with the pill...but even then the risk is still less than 1%. I think it’s also worth mentioning that the risk of developing blood clots during pregnancy is higher still. A person's highest risk of developing a blood clot is immediately after pregnancy.
If you’re looking into hormonal contraception, it’s worth checking out your options. Hormonal birth control is available in pill, patch and ring form and different brands use different formulations. Certain types of hormones have been associated with higher instances of complications. Also think about what makes the most sense for your lifestyle. The pill isn't the lower risk option if you forget to take it and wind up unintentionally pregnant. If you're not comfortable with hormonal contraception at all, there are definitely other options to consider.
Hormonal contraception works well for a lot of people, but the risk of complications is higher for people with certain conditions including:
There are also hereditary conditions that increase the likelihood of developing blood clots. Problems from these disorders may not develop unless they’re combined with other risk factors, so definitely let your health practitioner know about your family’s medical history as well. Which reminds me…
If you have concerns about the hormonal contraception or any form of contraception, talk to your doctor, nurse practitioner or other health care provider. You can also chat with someone at your local sexual health center. A medical professional can answer your questions, help you weigh the risks and benefits and explain your birth control options.
Have you heard about the NuvaRing controversy? What are your thoughts? Are you concerned about the risks? Let me know in the comments.
The holidays are coming up fast! If you’re looking for some sexy gift ideas for a someone special, or a few items to your own "naughty" list, we've got you covered. You can find the following items at a sex-positive shops like Venus Envy (Halifax and Ottawa), Come As You Are (Toronto), Good For Her (Toronto), Womyns' Ware (Vancouver) or Good Vibrations (U.S.) And if you don’t live near a brick-and-mortar store, fear not. Most of these retailers offer fast shipping in discreet packaging.
I've included links to all the products but be aware that some may be NSFW, so your might want to paruse this when you're in a personal space. Let's get to it!
If I were stranded on a desert island and I could only pick one item from my nightstand to have with me, it would be lube. Lube definitely comes in handy during partnered activities, but it’s also a great addition to solo-sex. Adding a few drops of lube can open you up to a whole world of masturbation sensation. There are lots different flavours, scents and textures so you might want to try a few and see what works for you. My personal faves are Sliquid and O’My Natural
Lean On Me
This is a nifty little kit that lets you attach your favourite vibrator to supportive structures around the house. A great option if you have fine motor challenges that make holding a vibrating toy difficult — or if you just want your hands free to play with other parts of your body.
A perennial favourite amongst the penile crowd, The Fleshlight is a masturbation sleeve disguised as a garden variety flashlight. The Fleshlight is made with cyberskin, a nifty material that feels a lot like human skin. There are several models available, so pick your fave!
I’ll Show You Mine
Vulvas live a sheltered life. Literally! They’re tucked up against the body which makes it challenging to see your own, let alone anyone else’s. The vulvas we see in porn and erotica are meticulously manicured and don’t always represent the the true diversity of what those sexy bits look like. I’ll Show You Mine is a Canadian-produced photo book featuring pictures of all sorts of vulvas. Sometimes looking at other people’s bodies can help us feel good about our own. And body-positivity is a great gift any time of year.
The We-Vibe (another Canadian product — holla!) is the world’s best-selling vibrator for couples. And no wonder. This little wonder is rechargeable, waterproof, easy-to-clean with multiple speeds and settings. The fourth generation of We-vibe just came to market and promises even more features to love!
Bend Over Beginner Kit
Just because you don’t have a penis doesn’t mean you can’t penetrate your partner! If the spirit is willing but the anatomy isn't there, a dildo/harness combo may be the solution you’re looking for. Both are available in lots of colours sizes and materials and while good to have choices, if you’re new to strap-on sex it can be a little overwhelming. Enter The Bend Over Beginner Kit. It provides everything you need in one handy package. There's an adjustable, comfy harness, two different sized silicone dildos and a little vibe for clit stimulation.
Adventurous Couple’s Guide To Strap On Sex
And speaking of adventurous, this book will give you the lowdown on everything you want to know about sex in a strap.
Double-dildos let couples enjoy penetration a deux. The Tantus Feeldoe works for vaginal and anal penetration or any combination of the two. Made of 100% silicone, it makes for a lovely smooth sensation and it’s easy to clean. And if you’re after a more realistic sensation, check out the Realdoe!
Pressed for time? Why not roll your holiday shopping and holiday partying into one? Lots of sex stores offer private parties, either in-store or at your home. It’s a great way for you and your pals to learn about different products, ask those burning questions and enjoy a more intimate shopping experience. Some companies even offer a discount if you buy at the party!
If you live in a city with an educational sex store, check out their workshop schedule. Most sex-positive stores offer hand-off, low-key workshops on subjects ranging from the G-spot to rope bondage. See what's on in January and February. Make a date with some friends and see how a little sex-education chased those post-holiday blahs away.
If threesome fantasies are your thing, this spicy collection of short fiction might be right up your alley! It features steamy stories by some top-notch erotic writers. And because these are short tales, you can get in, get hot and get-off and get on with life...but now people will wonder why you have a big smile on your face!
If you’re interested in open relationships for real, Tristan Taormino’s primer on safe, sane and respectful non-monagamy is a great read. She takes you through reasons that non-monogamy might work for you and reasons it might not. She also outlines several open relationship structures. Then she gives great some advice on the importance of communication, honesty and self-awareness, all which help enhance any type of relationships.