Nadine Thornhill: Mummy Sex


What the Heck is a Vagacial?

Has personal grooming reached the final frontier?

Has personal grooming reached the final frontier?

The vagacial is the latest in genital grooming trends. It’s similar to a facial, with deep cleansing, exfoliating, smoothing, and a variety of masks and serums, but instead of the face, all that fancifyin’ action is focused on the vulva.

A British woman named Lisa Palmer is credited with the invention of the vagacial. When the 41 year-old noticed that her nether region was getting a bit wrinkled, she felt it belied her efforts to maintain a youthful appearance. Palmer’s whipped up a concoction of egg whites and skin softening vitamins which apparently gave her labia the supple smoothness of a 25 year-old vulva. She decided to share her beauty secret with others and a new trend was born!

Vagacials are now available at wax bars and spas the world over. And if you want that supple downtown glow, but don’t want to spread for strangers at the vagina salon?  A Google search for “DIY vagacials” reveals a variety options for making for rejuvenating DIY labia mask that you can make at home!

The treatments are meant to be done a couple weeks after a Brazilian wax - a sort of shine and polish for those who like to take it all off. As far I can tell, there’s isn’t an equivalent option for people sporting a full bush, but I suspect it’s only a matter of time before beauty bars offer vagiblow-outs, deep vagiditioning treatements and vagi-hlights!

I know I’m making a bit of fun. (Writing the word “vagacial” a half dozen times in three paragraphs has made me punchy). In all honest, I don’t see anything inherently wrong with vagacials. If a person truly enjoys the treatment and/or it’s effects, I see no reason why they should be able to give themselves a vulva facial or pay a consenting...vagacialist(?) to get their lower lips glowing. I will say that people should pay attention to anything that’s being applied to their vulva. Despite the name, getting oil, food or chemical stuff in your actual vagina can trigger yeast or other infections, so make sure that whoever’s working down there, keeps the muffin buffin’ confined to your outer limits.

And even though most of you probably already know, I’m still going to remind everyone that vulvas with hair, wrinkles, darker skin, lighter skin, bumps, asymmetry are still totally legit pussies. If you’re the owner of a vagina and vagina-related body parts, it’s your prerogative to spruce it up or leave it be. Grooming should be optional and pleasurable. If exfoliating your labia makes you feel happy, sexy, and awesome, you vagacial until your heart’s content! I just don’t want folks conflating aesthetics with hygiene or proper vaginal care. Vulvas need to be kept as clean as possible - meaning soap and water. Anything beyond that isn’t necessary, it’s just a fun extra.  We can rock out and wrinkles and body hair and much as smooth youthful skin. Either way, it’s vagtastic!

Then There Was That Time A Guy Got Stuck In A Vagina Statue