Let's forgo the foreplay and jump right in, shall we? Here are 12 confessions (some dark, some deep) of a professional Sex Educator:
1. I have a really hard time with violence - even watching it on TV and in movies upsets me. The first time I saw people engaging in S&M I was surprised to discover that I felt happy. I realized it was because everyone involved was enjoying themselves. Witnessing S&M taught me that inflicting pain is not the same as violence.
2. I really, really like food for eating. I’m oddly squeamish about using it for sex stuff.
3. I seem to be drawn to voyeuristic cats. I’ve had three, all of whom enjoyed intruding on me during sexy times.
4. I’m good at putting on condoms. Like, really good. I can put on a condom one-handed, no-handed, with my feet, and blindfolded.
5. I really want to be supportive when my son starts dating. I want to trust him and respect his right to make his own choices. But if he winds up dating someone with a uterus, I’m worried that in a moment of weakness I’ll scream “DON’T GET PREGNANT!” during dinner.
6. I always have to look up the spelling of “epididymis.” Including just now.
7. The first time I saw porn, I was shocked to discover that intercourse involved thrusting. I’d always imagined that a person put their penis inside someone’s vagina and the people just sort of sat there until they came.
8. In my opinion the sexiest word ever is: cock.
9. In my opinion the least sexy word ever is: chafe.
10. I’ve had one simultaneous orgasm with one partner. I liked the part where it was an orgasm, but I wasn’t wild about the synchronization. I’m a bit of an attention seeker. I like having my own climactic moments.
11. I’m always excited when my work takes me to the sexual health clinic. I’m oddly fascinated by STI testing and the array of birth control that’s available.
12. My parents gave me the full lowdown on what to expect when I got my period. Even so, my first time, part of me was surprised to see blood instead of a tidy pool of blue liquid.
Care to share any of yours?