I bought my first vibrator almost fifteen years ago when a university pal invited me to a Fantasia party that she was hosting. At the time I didn’t even know that sex toys were a thing, let alone that people threw whole parties for them. I was intrigued yet incredibly nervous about the whole thing, not knowing to expect. But the party rep was sunny, funny, and immediately put me at ease. By the end of the evening, I couldn’t wait to get my hands—and other parts—on a vibe of my very own. I left that evening the proud new owner of a simple Silver Bullet.
From there my love of sex toys bloomed. I added to my collection whenever my finances permitted. I loved vibrators so much that eventually I got a job selling sex toys at Venus Envy, an awesome sex-positive boutique in Ottawa.
I met a lot of customers during my vibe-peddling years, and by far the most common question I was asked was, “What’s the best vibrator?” When it comes to vibrators, there are a myriad of colours, shapes, materials, functions, and speeds to choose from. The options are virtually endless and sometimes completely overwhelming. In a way it would be nice if we could identify one toy as The One Vibrator To Excite Us All. But the reason there’s a market for so many types of vibes is because there are so many types of bodies.
Over the years, I learned a few strategies that help me narrow down my choices. If you’re thinking of buying your first vibrator, these might help you, too.
Look for a vibrator with multiple or variable speeds. So many people told me that The Hitachi Magic Wand was the Cadillac of vibrators. I saved my pennies and bought one but the motor was waaaay to intense for me. Because it only has one setting, our sexual relationship fizzled—though she does a great job massaging my tight shoulder muscles!
How do you want to use it? With whom? There are vibes designed for clitorises, anuses, vaginas, penises, testicles, nipples and other bodily hot spots. There are vibes designed to be used by one body at a time and others meant for shared use.
Sometimes less is more. There are toys that can flick clits, tickle testicles, and vibrate vaginas with the flip of single switch. Good times for some, but others may find it’s too much sensation at the same time. Multi-function toys like the iconic Rabbit Pearl can be on the expensive side, which is great if you know you like that. But don’t feel you have to spend money on an all-out genital carnival to get a great vibrator.
Speaking of which, it’s good to have a price range mind. Vibrators range in price from $15 to upwards of $300. A less expensive vibe can be a great way to try a sex toy without breaking the bank. A pricier model made of durable, long-lasting materials can be a good investment if it makes you feel good. There are lots of options to suit every budget.
Is noise a concern for you? Vibrators made of firmer materials like hard plastic tend to transmit sound and buzz more loudly than toys made of softer silicones and vinyl. Our bodies also muffle noise, so a vibe that’s in your vagina or anus probably won’t be heard through walls, while a loud vibe sitting on your clit may prompt your kid to knock on the door and ask why you have daddy’s shaver with you in the bedroom.
Did you know there’s a G-rated way to test a toy’s intensity before you take it home? Turn it on and touch it to the tip of your nose. If you instinctively recoil, the vibration is too intense for you. Incidentally, I tried to do this with the Hitachi wand, but it got away from me and I vibe-punched myself in the mouth. Later, a Venus Envy rep showed me how to do the same test on the skin between your index finger and thumb. I call that the klutz alternative.
Those are a few of my vibe-shopping tips! How about you all? Do you have stories of sex-toy shopping trials and triumphs to share? Are you thinking about buying your very first vibe? Let me know in the comments!
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