An Aussie mom has brought new meaning to the term, "quickie." In her Facebook description of parent sex, blogger and mom-of-four Constance Hall described in hilariously apt detail what sex is like post-kids.
And - surprise, surprise - romance doesn't exactly figure.
According to Hall, previously impassioned lovemaking sessions have given way to "that 3.5 minutes you get in between changing nappies and making food.”
Instead of sticking on a Barry White playlist, these days her husband's seduction "consists of one finger pointing towards the bedroom and the other hand on his d*ck."
Notwithstanding, she gives him full credit for his steadfast determination to get it on and his ability to "finish" the job.
For women, however, staying in the right headspace is somewhat challenging, what with the gibberish sounds of Iggle Piggle from In the Night Garden in the background.
Hall goes on to describe the distracted proceedings involved in keeping a foot on the door and a duvet cover on your body in case the kids walk in to find mommy and daddy doing "yoga" in bed.
The 32-year-old mom wasn't surprised that her post hit a nerve with fellow parents, who are "confronted by a whole lot of bullshit [on Facebook] and left thinking that everyone is living these amazing lives."
And she's right. It's refreshingly honest to see someone out there "not trying to make themselves out to be a sex goddess.”