Matt Coyne can not only add 'father' to his resume, but 'comedian', too. The new dad from Sheffield, England, wrote a Facebook post about fatherhood that has since been shared by Ashton Kutcher, who described it as "one of the best descriptions of fatherhood I have ever read." So there's that.
And I have to agree, Coyne's description is a mix of wry and proud and anxious. In other words: pure internet gold.
If you are a man on the cusp of welcoming a child into the world, Coyne has got your back - whether it's dishing about labour ("like magic.. but only in that its (sic) best when you don't know how it's done.") or the sound of a baby crying at 3AM ("like having the inside of your skull sandpapered by an angry viking").
The joy, the wonder, the absolute shitshow of parenting a newborn... Coyne nails it all, while displaying a bounty of love and respect for his son, Charlie and partner, Lyns.
He credits his missus with being "tough, smart, funny and in love.. and she will make sure I don't f*ck up too much. Hopefully," he adds, "her DNA will also batter my genetic predisposition towards big nostrils and man-tits."
Of course some of the references are purely British, yet the rant is not something only new dads can relate to. As a mom and former bibliophile, I can vividly recall having read nothing more than a "pamphlet on breast pumps" in the months following my son's birth.
The best part about being a new parent, according to Coyne? The loss of cynicism. And I must agree. The world magically becomes a better place the second our children enter it.
Image Source: Facebook