A disgruntled mom took to YouTube recently to spell out an important message to a 'Person Who Likes My Daughter.' While Dr. Lindsey Doe wasn't surprised that an unnamed boy took a shining to her 14 year-old daughter, she was thoroughly unimpressed by the way he went about showing it.
So Doe took it upon herself to explain the rules of consent after said boy repeatedly asked her daughter out and wouldn't take no for an answer. Doe doesn't blame the boy for his confusion.
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After all, society feeds us messages that if at first we don't succeed, try, try, try again. And there's a whole trope dedicated to so-called "romances" in which the heroine isn't interested in the hero at first. But still he keeps at it. He doesn't give up on getting his girl—and ultimately, in the final reel, he wins. She capitulates, confessing that she feels the same way about him. Cue a dramatic kiss.
That, says Doe, is problematic. If a girl turns you down and you keep on asking and asking anyway, what you are doing—despite what the movies tell you—is not cool, not attractive or respectful.
Relentless attention is not flattering. It's called pestering at best, harassment at worst.
It seems crazy to have to spell this out in 2015, but No isn't the same as Maybe. No isn't the same as I'm not sure or even Ask me later. If the girl changes her mind, then that's her right. But an explicit No should be taken for what it is, and the girl should be left well alone.
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No is simply a closed door, not an invitation to knock harder or longer.
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