Stop the presses! Some serious shit is going down, and Canadians are up in arms. No, PM Harper isn't singing again... Our beloved delicacy - the Timbit - is facing extinction, and it's nothing short of a travesty.
Were Canadians rightly concerned by news that Tim Hortons was bought out by Burger King for a whopping $12.5 billion? As part of the takeover, is the first thing new owners plan to do scrap the mini doughnut balls in order to cut operational costs?
Burger King Confirms Purchase of Tim Hortons
Americans obviously don't get our love affair with the Timbit. Of course on the face of it the "sweet doughy treats" don't make financial sense. They cost mere pennies (oh, wait, we don't have those anymore) and clearly aren't worth the effort.
And when Canadians are in an uproar, you know about it. Protesters rallied at Timmies and BK branches all over the country, and wait for it—#SaveTimbits is trending.
(Ok, so this is pure satirical fun courtesy of Lapine, but I wouldn't be at all surprised if it came to this Braveheart-styled revolt: "They can take away our rights, they can take away our freedom, but they can never take away our timbits #savetimbits")
Activists everywhere, lace up your boots and do what you can to protect the rights of the little guy, our precious Timbit, now before it's too late, because while it seems it's satire now, the future of the Timbit could still be in danger...
Now, excuse me while I buy a 10-pack of chocolate glazed and honey dips, because you just never know.