Mummy Buzz

Sep
15
2014

The Baby With Three Parents On Her Birth Certificate

A whole lotta love or Three's a crowd?

For the first time ever, a threesome has been registered as the legal parents of a baby in Brazil. Two mothers and a biological father, that is.

The women had been together for four years when they asked a male friend to help them conceive. He did, and the couple was later married after same-sex unions were legalized in 2013. 

Now, a judge in southern Rio Grande do Sul state honoured the biological father's request to be named on the birth certificate since he remained involved throughout the pregnancy.

"Being a father and a mother is above all about taking care and fulfilling tasks," said ruling judge, Rafael Pagnon Cunha. "I feel sure that for this child the possibility of happiness will be very great."

Typically a sperm donor or surrogate signs off against any future contact with the baby, thus safeguarding same-sex parents from future custody battles.

In this case, the baby has three very loving parents (and a whopping six grandparents) listed on her birth certificate. Confusing? Bound to be.

Yet as my then-single mother used to say, "Better one loving parent than two who bicker." And so I wonder whether, in this case, the converse is also true. Is there such a thing as too many doting parents in the nursery? Just because the arrangement is unorthodox arrangement doesn't mean it's wrong or catastrophic. 

Of course it remains to be seen how the threesome will negotiate childcare in real terms. No doubt there will be some hiccups, and schedules will need ironing out along the way. As the dad is a family friend, and presumably not living with the couple, will he be entitled to regular visits? What if he oversteps the mark? Will they, as it were, play nicely and share custody?

You tell me: Is three a crowd when it comes to parenting? 

Just as well this guy didn't find his name on any birth certificates. There are not enough forests left in the world.