Just when I thought my bulldog pup was all kinds of crazy, this three-year-old Great Dane just raised—or lowered?—the bar. The poor pooch was rushed to an animal hospital in Oregon in February, retching from something he ate.
X-rays revealed a very full stomach of unidentified matter. When Dr. Ashley Magee opened him up, she found socks. A lot of them—43 ½ to be precise, since he just couldn't manage the 44th. Shudder to think of the vet bill for that. It probably necessitated a remortgage...
But wait, there's more. When the hospital entered Mr Dane into the running for Veterinary Practice News' "They Ate WHAT?" contest, a copious amount of socks didn't cut it, not even close. Another dog claimed runner-up for downing a "metal shish kabob skewer."
Even that feat of derring-do wasn't enough to nab first place. The $1,500 prizewinner and stealer of the glory was an exotic frog from Texas, who gobbled up more than 30 tiny ornamental rocks in its cage.
The Dane was robbed, I say. Robbed! Fortunately, he was discharged the day following the surgery. And in the sage words of one Gawker commenter, let's hope his owners have learned "to use a f*cking hamper now."
Let's see, my bully's tricks now pale in comparison—garden hose x1, sofa cushion x1, slab of patio deck x1, Crocs and sandals, various. Because kibble gets boring somewhere after the 100th consecutive day... Guess it's time for you to up your game, Rosey girl.
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