Mummy Buzz

Apr
12
2013

The Latest Cocktail Craze: Semen

The Bartender's Secret Ingredient

Cocktail by name, cocktail by nature. A bartender has a secret ingredient you'll wish wasn't in your drink... Semen.

According to an article in Huffington Post, Paul 'Fotie' Photenhauer predicts that his book, Semenology—The Semen Bartender’s Handbook, will be the next big thing in the booze world. (Oh, God, there's no shortage of pun material here!)

This, following his 2011, similarly themed oeuvre, Natural Harvest: A Collection of Semen-Based Recipes. The idea is that you learn to "mix selected spirits to enhance the delicate flavours of semen.”

If that's hard to swallow, consider some of the cocktail names: Macho Mojito, the Slightly Saltier Caviar and the Galliano Cum Shot. The book also features tips on how to store the er, goods.

“People eat all kinds of weird shit," he said. "Eggs are the menstruation of chickens. Milk is the mammary excretion from cows. Semen is… at least it’s fresh and you know who the producer is.”

Of course he cautions about using only "trusted" sperm in order to avoid HIV and other STDs. 

No joke. The Huffington Post recalls a State University of New York study praising semen's many health benefits, from reducing depression, increasing affection and improving sleep.

Ladies, how about that next cocktail night, eh?