We've heard it a trillion times before: parenting is the hardest job there is. But writer Jessica Valenti isn't so sure. In a recent article on Babble, she posts that being a mom isn't the be all, end all we often make it out to be.
"And as much as I love my daughter," writes Valenti, "I don’t believe caring for her is the most important thing I’ll ever do either." She goes on to question whether being a parent is as important a job as say, a firefighter or a factory worker.
The natural sequitur to this argument is that if being an at-home mom is such a tall order, then why aren't full-time parents paid for their labours? Why aren't dads everywhere jacking in their day jobs in order to raise their kids, instead of hiring nannies—complete strangers—to do so?
It's only the hardest, most rewarding job because we convince ourselves thus. Otherwise, says Valenti, the "diaper changing, the mind-numbing Dora watching, the puke cleaning, and the complete self-sacrifice" truth is just too damn depressing.
Moreover, Valenti claims helicopter or hyper-parenting is the "understandable outcome of expecting smart, driven women to find satisfaction in spit-up." She claims the energy we put into our children may, in fact, be misdirected (she feels it would be better spent in the public sphere) and is making us downright miserable.
Bottom line: we can love our children without feeling the world revolves around them. We can love our "job" as moms without being under the illusion that it's the hardest or most valuable achievement in the world.
Is Valenti offering moms a much-needed reality check or a dose of bitter juice?
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