She may well be the youngest celebrity with an unauthorized bio. She may also be the youngest celebrity to be so fervently stalked by the pap. Poor little Suri. Those two words always seem to preface her name when I write about her. I can't help it. And it won't change now that Suri's Burn Book has been released.
It's scant comfort that the book, subtitled a "Well-Dressed Commentary From Hollywood’s Little Sweetheart," was intended as a humorous take on what goes on inside the mind of a six-year-old starlet whose only claim to fame is the biological parents she was born to, Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes.
Allie Hagan, the 25-year-old policy consultant in Washington, D.C. who penned the book for a lark and wrote about it in the Huffington Post, seems to be feeling a belated modicum of guilt, following TomKat's divorce. Not that that stopped her from banking on the coat tails of Suri's glittering (and some might say, tragic) start.
The book came on the back of a blog by the same name, a play on the pink tome from 2004 film Mean Girls, with Hagan adopting a quasi-Anna Wintour voice full of snobbery and snark. In it she condescends to her fellow child celebs, and even passes a bitchy commentary on her mother's "elfin boots."
If Scientologists make a point of never saying no to a child, then Suri's been overindulged at every turn, from private jet rides to Disney to publicly documented hissy fits in front of a pet store.
But is Suri a diminutive diva or simply a little girl lost in the shuffle of her parents' split, playing up under the ever-glaring media eye? Even Hagan isn't so sure anymore.
“There’s a twinge of sadness there that I don’t want to poke at," she wrote on Huffington Post, "...the possibility that Suri is losing her mind, not because she’s a drama queen who just spilled her ice cream but because her life is complicated and evolving right now.”
Hagan might have thought of this before cashing in on the Suri story.