I was browsing the Browns Shoes website, and it reminded me of this poem that I wrote a few years ago. Seemed timely, so I thought I would share.
T'was the weekend before Christmas and all through the mall
all the crazies were shopping and starting a brawl.
The sale signs were hung in the window with care.
You can get a good deal, go in, if you dare.
The sales girls were perched and lying in wait,
with visions of making a good commission rate.
My baby in her sketchers and I in my heels,
had just settled in to eat happy meals.
When out in the corridor there arose quite a riot,
I guess this will help me to stick to my diet!
Away to Holt Renfrew, I flew like a nut.
God knows, I needed to see what was up.
The glitz and the glitter of new-fallen prices,
gave the lustre of boxing day to all of my vices.
When what to my wondering eyes should I view,
but a sale table filled with half-priced Jimmy Choo.
At the next table over people were stealthy and quick,
and I knew in a moment it must be Manolo Blahnik.
More rapid than eagles, hungry like beasts
women tussled and pushed to get one pair at least.
Now Visa! Now Amex! Now Debit and Cash!
On MasterCard! On layaway! on to the money I keep in my secret stash!
I'll take the black and the red, 4 inches tall.
Charge Away, Charge Away, Charge Away all!!
Like Arkansas trailers in the wild hurricane fly,
women spun round on a cheap leather high.
So up to the cash register, the ladies, they flew
with credit cards in hand and clutching their shoes.
And then, in a twinkling, I heard a woman say.
"look, there, what's coming our way."
With hand on hip, I turned around,
and there in front of me, Prada, I found.
They were dressed all in red from tip to toe,
and they were looking at me, calling out Moe!
A small amount of sparkle made them so sweet,
and they looked like they wanted to be on my feet.
The leather, so supple. The perfect shaped heel.
You can't even imagine how good they feel.
The sweet little toe drawn up like a bow, and the designer shoe feeling made my cheeks all a glow.
with a wink of my eye and a snap of my finger, I let the sales lady know I wouldn't linger.
She spoke not a word, but went straight to her work
bringing my purchase up to the cash clerk.
Laying my credit card down in her hand,
she tallied the price for such a name brand.
To my stroller I sprang giving my daughter a hug
and away we flew like a bank robbing thug.
and they heard me sing as I ran out of sight
"HAPPY CHRISTMAS TO ALL, AND TO ALL A GOODNIGHT!"
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