Maureen Turner: We Are Family


It Rhymes With Dolores

When Nicknames Go Bad


I work in an industry where nick names are preferred to real names. I get called Moe more often than not and there are some people at work who probably wouldn’t know who Maureen was if you asked for me by name.

As a kid, I was Mojo after the chewy candies.

My kids don’t want to be called anything but their names. I totally wanted to be able to call Rebecca, Becks (I’m a soccer fan), but she won’t have it. Eleanor doesn’t want Elle or Ella, and Ethan hates E.

They came up with some nick names a few weeks ago. Rebecca is Becca Butt Cheeks... yup, won’t let me call her Becks, but Becca Butt Cheeks, that’s cool!

I thought that Eleanor was Elaboo, but I may have misheard.

They started calling Siobhan, Shavina and Ethan Ethanis. I argued that Siobhan should be SheFonzy, but they insisted on Shavina.

It took a while, but I finally said Shavina sounds like vagina... they nodded. Then it dawned on me... Rebecca Butt Cheeks, ElaBOOB, Ethenis and Shavina... funny body parts.

It reminded me of this.