42, It’s the “Ultimate Answer to the Ultimate Question of Life, The Universe, and Everything.” (Douglas Adams, The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy)
It’s also how many outfits my family wears in a week. 42 shirts, 42 pairs of underwear, 42 pairs of sock (that’s 84 socks!). 6 people times 7 days. The math is easy. What’s not easy is getting all of that clothing washed, folded, and put away every week.
People always say how easy laundry is. The machine does all the work, right? You just have to wait for it to finish. True... for the first load. After that, it’s folding, and carrying to the appropriate room, and putting away.
Even if we just go with pants, tops underwear and socks, that’s 210 articles of clothing per week. That doesn’t include pyjamas, any uniforms for sports or the sometimes necessary mid-day clothing change.
We have tried enlisting the kids help. Our oldest gets an allowance for taking the folded clothing, sorting it and putting it in each room. The 3 older kids are “supposed” to put their own laundry away.
They are, for some unknown reason, opposed to hanging things up, so they just shove things in drawers. Miraculously, they can unfold every single item in one fell swoop, and they end up wearing wrinkled clothes, despite all my (or my husband’s) folding efforts.
Sometimes, I even find perfectly folded, unworn clothes in their hampers. I guess it’s easier than putting it in drawers. When this happens, I may lose my mind momentarily.
Here’s the other thing about laundry: It’s never ending! I have a pink load in as we speak. Yes, I do have a full pink load! (3 little girls will do that)
Also, Where do the socks go? Last week, my daughter had to wear her brother’s socks all week because we can’t find any of her socks. For a while, I had a bag of mis-matched socks sitting, waiting for the return of their mate. I have since thrown it out because they never show up.
Now that the weather is getting colder, there will be all that extra clothing and snow gear to wash. Another reason I hate winter.
I think I need to move somewhere tropical; maybe a tropical nudist colony is the answer.
Laundry: it’s the bane of my existence and, possibly, the real answer to the meaning of life, the universe, and everything.
This weekend, I was fortunate enough to spend my time with some pretty cool people. It all started Friday with a big YMC gathering because almost everyone was in town for the Blissdom Canada conference.
This meant hanging with some seriously cool people. My very favourite blogger in the world, Earnest Girl, was there along with almost every other YMC blogger, the PR people we work with, the one and only Journey Woman and of course, Erica Ehm.
From there, I went to the opening ceremonies of Blissdom Canada where I met @HerBadMother in the hallowed halls of the CBC.
Friday, after hearing Kathy Buckworth speak, I was fortunate enough to go for dinner with Maureen Dennis, Alison Burke and Jeff Pulver.
Saturday was a pretty big day as well. I sat in on 3 panels, one with Eric Alper, Laura Berg (who is in fact married to Moe Berg, sorry Tom for calling you a jackass when you asked) , Alison Kramer and Jeff Pulver, the 2nd with Dee Brun (AKA The Cocktail Deeva), Gail Vaz-Oxlade, Kimberly Seldon, Patty Sullivan and Julie Cole. I may have told Gail Vaz-Oxlade that her show (Till Debt Do Us Part) is banned from my house. I can’t handle how my husband gets after watching... it’s not good for my retail therapy.
The 3rd panel was with Ann Douglas, Theresa Albert, Jen Reynolds and Nadine Silverthorne.
Now those are some pretty big names, and as a writer/blogger I was over the moon, but this is how the conference ended for me:
Yes, that is Jordan Knight singing to me at a Karaoke party. While I was more of a rock kinda girl when NKOTB were big, I certainly knew who they were, and I have to tell you he was a total sweetheart.
I’d say it was a pretty good weekend.
I would like to start this by stating that I am in no way an expert on divorce. I do however, speak from experience.
I have been in my fair share of failed relationships. I was married at 25 and divorced at 29. They call it a starter marriage. I find it hard to believe they have a name for it, but they do.
By 34, I was packing up my 2-year old daughter and leaving her dad. As I said, I have had my fair share of failed relationships.
Perhaps my “starter marriage” could have worked if only I had tried harder, or acted differently, or been older?
But this blog isn’t about starter marriages or making them work, it’s about divorce.
This blog is written for everyone who is in a relationship that is taking them out of their comfort zone. Anyone who is thinking about divorce and wondering if that makes them a failure. This blog is an extended hand to anyone who hasn’t felt like their self in months.
I have been there.
If you are in a place where you feel like you have to walk on egg shells in order to keep the peace, or if you feel like you might never smile again, you are not alone. I know, you feel alone. You feel like you are trapped, but you aren’t. You have options.
I have said this before: Don’t stay for the children. It may not be a popular decision, but your kids don’t want you to be unhappy.
Imagine feeling like you can breathe. Imagine feeling like you can laugh and be yourself. I’m not saying it’s easy. It is in no way easy, but it is relieving.
I know, it’s a huge decision, and it’s one you have to make. If you think there is a glimmer of hope and you want to make it work, do it! But if you are sitting there, scared and defeated, wondering if you can do it. You can!
You can choose to be happy, you can choose not to take it anymore, you can choose to start a new. This is your life; don’t let someone else live it.
If I may offer a word of wisdom, take time for yourself, don’t jump into another relationship. It’s okay to be by yourself, get to know yourself, and when you are ready you will find someone who will accept you as you are. Because you took that time to get to know yourself, you won’t need them to make you happy, you will just enjoy their company instead.
I am not an expert. I am a friend.