Lisa Thornbury: Party Mummy


Party Like A Warrior

Take the Leap (Fire Optional)

Growing up, I never liked getting down and dirty, unless it was on the dance floor. I wasn’t much of an athlete either. In high school, my gym class gave me a t-shirt inspired by my epic whining during those gruelling timed track runs. It had the word, “Whimp” written across the chest. Yes, wimp was misspelled. My friends were pretty.

It’s not that I hated sports; I guess I always thought I just wasn’t up to the challenge.

I was wrong.

It took becoming a mother to finally realize that. Perhaps the battles fought advocating for my special daughter allowed me to finally see it. I’m not a wimp, I’m a warrior dammit.

When my friend Lisa (all Lisa’s are slightly crazy by the way) told me about the Warrior Dash at Whistler this summer, I thought she was cracked. I pretended to be disappointed that the race was being held on the other side of the country.

And then in stepped kismet, otherwise known as my pal Sharon (Sharons are even crazier than Lisas FYI). She discovered the race was also being held close to home at Horseshoe Valley. I cursed her and her mad website browsing skills.

I wasn’t sure I could do it. I’m a forty-one year old mother for heaven’s sake. But I’m not a wimp, I’m a warrior. Did I mention that already? I figure if say it enough, it’ll finally sink in.

Maybe you don’t think YOU are a warrior. But you are. You just have to take the leap (fire optional).

There are lots of challenges out there like this. Pick one and do it. It’ll make you feel alive...if it doesn’t kill you. Just kidding. You won’t die. Most likely.

Ten tips for warrior women who would like to give a race like this a try:

1)  The videos and pictures always make it look way harder than it is. I didn’t train AT ALL and I made it. Did I suck wind most of the way? Yes. Do I suck wind carrying the vacuum upstairs? Yes. Same diff. Also the obstacles, in this race anyway, are optional. If you’re afraid of a particular one, you can bypass it.

2)  Book a room at the event venue early. They go fast. We missed out, but fortunately we got to ride up in style. We were the chicks in the cushy limo. Thank you Rosedale Livery for escorting us to and fro. Being dropped off right at the starting line preserved our energy for the race. Between that and the pre-race sausage, we were in peak physical condition at the starting line.

3)  Don’t wear your best running socks. They will never come clean. Same goes for your shoes. Prepare to add them to the heap after the race.  Five hundred dollar orthotics? You might want to leave those at home.

4)  Wear a supportive bra. I made a mental note for next year as I galloped down one of the hills. I have the bruises on my knees to illustrate my point. Get it? Boobs. Knees. Sigh. Just wear a good bra ok? Also, bring a change of clothes and a small towel in a backpack along with extra sunscreen and possibly a pack of wet wipes. You can check your bag during the race.

5)  Tie up your shoe laces tight!  Mud sucks. Literally. The last thing you want to lose is a shoe during the race. Or more importantly, the timer attached to said shoe that also acts as your free beer ticket at the end of the race.

6)  Hydrate before and after. With water. Not just beer. Lesson learned. Headache-From-Hell.

7)  Take lots of pictures to show your friends. They’ll laugh at you, but secretly they’ll think you’re kind of badass. Also, your kids will think it’s cool that you have rocks stuck to your scalp.

8)  If your bag and phone are checked and out of reach, you’ll be incommunicado so be sure to arrange a meeting spot for your team/friends/cute Vikings beforehand. Otherwise hooking up will be difficult.

9)  You may be in it to win it, but don’t be a hero. Push yourself, but be safe. It’s all fun and games until somebody breaks an ankle. *This tip applies to the race AND the after party.

10)  Stay and enjoy the after party by the way. Celebrate your success with your fellow warriors. Eat a turkey leg, swig a beer and let out a few random warrior cries.

Kudos to the folks at Warrior Dash and Horseshoe by the way. Stellar event planning all around. For the first ever Warrior Dash in Canada, attended by over 10, 000 people, it was flawless. I know a little bit about planning a party and you...nailed it. My Warrior Mom crew and I will be back next year. Viking hats and supportive bras in hand.

You can read what Sharon thought about the Warrior Dash and who won the wee wager riding on the winning time here --> The Inside Scoop and here --> Speed Skating Mom