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You've heard the term "Food Porn?" People use it to describe photos of food so sinfully decadent that it borders on pornography.
I think it's time to take the term literally by hosting a Food Porn party! Dull dinner parties are passé, but Food Porn Parties are hot! If you consider silly and ridiculous and something to do for the puns alone, hot. I do.
As a fun switch up to an ordinary Girls' Night
To celebrate your friend's divorce being final, finally
Helloooo, Bachelorette Party
Or maybe you're just super stressed and need a laugh. And dip. And cock-lates.
Is this party theme sexist or demeaning or rude? It's not meant to be.
Is it immature? Maybe.
It is a cheeky way to blow of steam with friends? Definitely.
So go ahead and shake up some dirty martinis and put out a plate of Nookie Cookies and show your friends what food porn really looks like.
*Warning: This post contains photos that are rated 18+ Also there are images of a certain pâté that some may find disturbing. Well, I find it disturbing, but only because I'm a vegetarian. Otherwise? Bahahahaha! Side note: by the end of the party the pâté was long gone, minus the tip that was left untouched. Just imagine that for a minute. Scraping that bit off into the food waste bin as I washed the dishes....I'm still laughing.
1. Invite a group of friends who can take a joke. Keep in mind that this theme is not suitable for a child's party, a wake, an 87th birthday, a sweet sixteen, grade eight graduation, a Mommy and Me Luncheon, a Welcome Wagon Meet and Greet, Sunday School Breakfast, a Brownie Troupe Fundraiser, or a Family BBQ. Obviously.
2. Ask each guest to bring a "dirty dish." Set it out on the food table and ask the creator to label it with its naughty name.
3. Don't forget the napkins!
4. When friends arrive give them a name tag. You can use a "porn name generator" (yes, it's a thing. look it up!) to come up with some really funny names. Hey look, it's 'Lydia Lustley' and 'Amber Kittens!'
5. Set up a game like "Guess The Number Of Nipples In The Jar." It's cheesy, but the Booby Prize is a jar full of chocolate so...
6. Create a hydration station.
7. Make a porn music playlist (just the music, not the other noises. Ew) to play in the background. If you Google "Porn Music Soundtracks" you'll find a lot to choose from. People seem to like a good 70s porn music soundtrack. Who knew? Bow chicka wow wow is a good one.
8. Play games (if you're into that sort of thing), or simply mingle, nibble, and have fun!
9. Snap food porn selfies because they're fun. Just smile and say, "How do you like them *kumquats?" This is where I'd post a few examples if I could. Alas, there isn't a single selfie in the bunch that I'm permitted to share!
*one of my favourite words of all-time.
Happy Food Porning!
Sincerely,
Bambi Velvet