I'm not a fashion blogger, but I know funny. And this fashion show - or at least the reaction it's getting - is hilarious. So.Many.Penis.Puns.Head.May.Explode.
Though not everyone agrees. If fact, there are a lot of people who have their knickers in a knot of over it.
What has this tweeter so testi? Los Angeles designer Rick Owens, who spawned the hashtag #DickOwens after debuting his ballsy collection during Men's Fashion week in Paris, had many shaking their heads.
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Those with a passion for fashion seated close to the catwalk got an eye-full. However, according to audience members, it wasn't exactly a night out at the Fox's Den. Yes, there was penis, but sightings were elusive. You might see something, you might not depending on rate of swing, fabric rigidity and viewing angle in relation to the pant peephole.
The drapey designs favoured by celebs including Orlando Bloom, Usher, Kanye West, Jude Law and Jared Leto have been re-imagined, leaving a little less to the imagination. A few of the tunic style cloaks have strategically placed cutouts designed to provide a subtle view of Mother Nature's bounty—think twigs and berries.
Having your man goods swinging freely beside those bladey looking embellishments takes balls. Kudos to you, brave underpantless fashion warriors. We should also give this model props. Look at this posture—perfectly poised and fully erect.
What did Rick Owens himself have to say about his eyebrow raising collection? Owens was quoted as saying, “Nudity is the most simple and primal gesture – it packs a punch. It’s powerful. It’s a straight world now. It says something about being independent. Who else can really get away with this stuff? It’s a corporate world! This was our private moment."
Yes, it was a private privates moment for about 90 seconds until the internet got wind of it.
Whether a stroke of fashion forward genius or a cocky publicity stunt, Owens has us standing at attention. Good for you Rick. Women have been showing nip on the runway for some time, so how is this such a big deal? It's not like Bill from the office is going to show up for your morning briefing without briefs. And little Stevie certainly won't be wearing crotchless sweatpants in gym class any time soon.
So I say, settle down peeps. It's just a bit of peen.
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To view un-censored photos of the collection, click HERE
Were there jokes made about this 'length of this post', what to use for the 'header' image and 'getting it up' on time? Maybe.
If you like phallic humour, here are two posts that might tickle your funny, ahem, bone. How To Fold A Napkin Into A Penis and Host A Vasectomy Party. I thought I'd put these together in a "nice package" for you.
Image Source: Instagram
*This post is probably NSFW. Unless you work at home like I do, then carry on. You've been warned.*
Ever accidentally "reply all" to an email in a ridiculously inappropriate way? Me neither.
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How about accidentally inviting your entire email contact list to friend you on LinkedIn? No? Same here. Never did that. Except when I did. Feel free to gawk at my LinkedIn Shame HERE.
I've also heard of people outing their lurky-ness by inadvertently "liking" a Facebook post. Some people have even been caught with their pants down by blurting out a filthy comment on Twitter thinking they were sending a DM. That happens often. Or so I've heard.
As horrific as those mis-shares are, nothing compares to the face-burning shame of posting your nudie bits online. Unless you're a porn-star wannabe, this is not a smart career move.
Scenic pictures of snow-capped mountains and sandy beaches are fine to share with friends. But if you're sharing an iPhoto slide show, be darn sure you've deleted the topless pic you sexted to your husband on his last business trip. Nice rack by the way. We were all amply impressed.
I admit to laughing right along with everyone at that digitally induced wardrobe malfunction. But I wasn't laughing when it nearly happened to me...
Without getting too TMI, let's just say that when one has been on antibiotics, certain "lady issues" can arise. On that note, here's the link to a yummy challa-style bread recipe. You'll need 5 tsp of active yeast.
I'm not one to panic and think the worst, like I have some deadly infection and my days are numbered. Actually, yes; yes I am. To calm my nerves, I attempted to investigate, but my hand-mirror was too small. I'm not saying that my undercarriage is abnormally large. My mirror is just really, really tiny.
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So to get a better look I snapped a quick pic with my iPhone, looked, and then promptly deleted. How could THAT go wrong? No, I didn't snapchat my nethers anywhere. Oh god, at least I don't think I did?! The photo was definitely deleted FOREVERRRRR. How's that for foreshadowing?
Three days later a Facebook friend asked me to post a photo of my new ergonomic stand-up desk situation. Happy to oblige, I opened up iPhoto and sceamed! There staring me right in the face was this photo.
And right below this shot of my brother in law's Movember stache, was my delicate flower photo. The one I had most certainly deleted.
Curse you iCloud! I have always feared the enigma that is iCloud and for good reason. Fortunately for me and for anyone I know on Facebook, I didn't accidentally upload it to my page. Instead I frantically deleted it from iCloud. After checking and re-checking I was convinced it was gone...foreverrrrrrrrr.
When I opened the family iPad later that night and saw the photo had resurfaced yet again, I freaked. I can't find the photo of my son's basketball game I've been looking for for weeks, but this photo won't go away?! Deleted once more, I emptied my trash, cleared my cache, and broke out in a rash.
So now the offending photo gone forever for real. I think. Oh god, I'm going to go check again. iCloud iHate you.