This post is about the most popular social media culture since the dawn of the internet, the almighty Twitter.

In this digital kingdom there are gods who anoint their followers with their holy klout. Disciples retweet the wisdom of their ministers with a blind faith that has them believing every tweet is the gospel truth (Jon Bon Jovi is indeed still alive and well by the way). And of course, there are sinners who spam and spew forth criticism and judgment.

Which of the holy social media covenant are thee? Er, ye?

We are all tempted by salacious gossip or into hurling virtual stones at a brother or sister tweeter in the “wrong.” Maybe you’ve cast out a fellow tribesman for some perceived slander? Or perhaps you’ve offered up a PAT (Passive Aggressive Tweet). You know, a-not-so subtle tweet about someone—not mentioning her by name, but not exactly leaving her identity in the dark. A PAT is more welcome as an ambiguous character on SNL than in our Twitter feed.

I admit to giving in to temptation—I have unfollowed out of spite and have worn the scarlet letter P on my pajama top after a PMS fueled PAT episode. I am only human.

And so I now look to a higher power and her name is Annabel. She graces social media with kindness and banishes negativity from its realm.

When I am tempted by tweevil, I ask myself, “What would Jesus Annabel do?”

In her wisdom she once said, “I treat Twitter like a party. I engage with those who are there in the moment.” She participates in healthy discussions and turns away from spiteful banter. When it is time, she exits the party graciously and goes back to her life. Though she may not be able to turn water into wine, she is still a holy force.

The next time you are tempted to join an angry Twitter mob or retrace a Twitter steam back to its origin for no reason other than pure noseyness, ask yourself, “What would Annabel do?”

Why the religious theme? Who the hell knows? I barely made it through Sunday School as a child…