One day you're as thick as thieves. She can always make you laugh. You share a similar outlook on life and your relationship is the "I'll always have your back" kind. And then she starts dating...him. You really like him at first. He's funny and charming. Incredibly charming. But as you get to know him, there's just something off, but you can't quite put your finger on it. You decide to give him the benefit of the doubt because if she loves him, he must be alright.
And then she starts to change. Just little things at first. She's still her, but altered somehow.
She'd love to come to that concert with you but she can't. She's so sorry but they can't come for dinner because they're just going to lay low. She has become a them — which would be fine if only the them didn't totally eclipse the she.
His charm has faded now and he's cloaked in red flags. But she can't see them. You can, but when you carefully try to point them out to her, she shuts her eyes and changes the subject.
He's controlling, he's selfish, he's a compulsive liar. He's an epic ass.
And when he does something skevvy, do you tell her? Will she even hear you let alone believe you?
You love her and you want to fight for her, but how can you possibly win?
You can't save her. All you can do wait. And when she needs you, you'll be there.
Losing a friend, especially in this way, hurts on so many levels. Scenarios vary of course. Sometimes it's just a matter of your once bosom friend hooking up with a blowhard buffoon that your spouse can't stand, so you see less and less of each other until one day, your only connection is a fleeting Facebook like.
Other times, your sister from another mister is so transformed by his influence that you no longer recognize her. This doesn't always mean the end, but it can.
And there are times when you make the painful choice to cut her loose because you have to. He's rotten. But since you can never make her see that, you let her go, even if it means you're made out to be the bad guy. But it's okay because your friendship started out as the "I have your back kind" and you meant it.
*This isn't just a he/she situation of course, it just happens to be my experience. This obviously applies to he/he and she/she relationships too.
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