Read This Before You Take a Sip of That Cocktail

Back in the day before a big night out when we’d chant:

Beer before liquor, never sicker; Liquor before beer, you’re in the clear!

These days it’s more…

Beer before liquor, waist gets thicker; Liquor before beer, gigantic rear!

The sad booze news is—and please don’t shoot the messenger or god forbid, buy me a shooter— alcohol is not a dieter's friend.

Gasp!

Of course you can have a tipple here and there. Hell, you can even have several drinks on a special occasion. But if you want fit into your pants without bits of you spilling over your waistband like a gelatanous waterfall, then it’s in your best interest to limit the cocktails and make informed choices about the drinks you sip this summer.

*Me at the Bartending Olympics in 1994... before my metabolism came to a screeching halt.

Here’s a list of common drinks (traditional recipes) that will cause your ass to expand faster than you can say 'Sex On the Beach!' A little perspective—a Big Mac has 485 calories.

Vodka Cranberry = 145 calories
Cosmo Martini = 150 calories
Run and Coke = 155 calories
Mojito = 180 calories
Strawberry Daiquiri = 250 calories
Sangria = 320 calories
Pina Colada = 460 calories
Mai Tai = 580 calories
Margarita = 620 calories
Long Island Iced Tea = 625 calories( Fortunately the 90s called and asked for this drink back. Personally I'd rather have the Big Mac and do a few vodka shots instead).

And with that, here’s the skinny on enjoying a drink without having to buy buffet pants:

The higher the alcohol content, the higher the calories. Where you can make a difference is your choice of mix.

Remember, Sweet =Calories =Tight Pants

When a drink recipe calls for simple syrup, substitute agave nectar. Or better yet, skip that cocktail completely. You're already sweet enough.

Diet pop may have fewer calories, but it’s nasty. Don’t even go there. Also avoid drinks with lime cordial, bar mix, or other sweet and calorie packed juices.

Water keeps you hydrated (hello, no hangover) and fills you up which prevents you from slamming back drinks from thirst. So drink plenty of water BEFORE you consume alcohol and have a glass between every cocktail. Yes, you will have to pee a lot, but that gives you an excuse to check your lipstick frequently. Looking good, girlfriend!

No Need To Whine About Wine:

Wine is a go-to summer sipper for many—tasty, relatively inexpensive, no-fuss pour and serve.

Stay away from dessert wines. 217 calories for a 5 oz. glass.

Dry white wines tend to be the lowest in calories and carbs: Chardonnay 120 cals/5 oz. glass and 1.1 grams of carbs, Pinot Grigio 100 cals/5 oz. glass and 2 grams of carbs

Red wines tend to be in the 120 calorie range as well.

Yes, you totally can (and should) chill red wine for refreshing summer sipping.

White Wine Spritzers are a good choice. Diluting wine (slightly, let’s not get all crazy now) with zero calorie soda water not only cuts calories, it makes the drink go farther.

Sangria can bite you in the butt with extra sugars so go easy on the juice, and nix the simple syrup. Add soda and lots of fresh fruit and it's summer sipping perfection.

Cheers to smaller rears!

Don't Care About Calories? You'll Love This Drink