Lisa Thornbury: Party Mummy


Forty Ways To Be A Fool

No Foolin'

For a reasonably intelligent person, some days I'm a big ol' fool. Perhaps it's because I'm exhausted. Or maybe it's because I'm distracted...that whole way-too-many-responsibilities-and-one-too-many-balls-in-the-air kind thing. Whatever the reason, I've been committing acts of dumb-assery all over the place. 

I may be forgetful and silly and downright daft half the time, but I'm not foolish enough to commit these fool hardy acts below (okay, maybe three, but I'm not telling you which). 

Here are forty foolproof ways to be FOOLISH:

1. Check your email on your phone while driving. 

2. Cut your own hair. 

3. Take on much more than you can handle. 

4. Put your health last. 

5. Take people for granted. 

6. Make up time lost by stealing "sleep" time. Sleep is for babies. 

7. Be sarcastic as often as you can. People LOVE that. 

8. Bail on social engagements. 

9. Skip exercise. Who wants to go getting all healthy and trim?

10. Send an email while you're angry. 

11. Gossip and spread rumours. 

12. Compare yourself to others. 

13. Mix business with pleasure. 

14. Refuse to own up to anything or admit when you're wrong. 

15. Spend more time online than with REAL friends and family. 

16. Brag. 

17. Avoid going to the doctor. 

18. Leave everything to the last minute. 

19. Pass the buck. It's perfectly okay to throw a friend under the bus. 

20. Assume the worst. 

21. Smoke.

22. Drink booze on an empty stomach. 

23. Tell at least one lie a day. 

24. Put plastic in the microwave. 

25. Skip reading the instructions. 

26. Respond to a sensitive email in haste without checking whether you've clicked "reply" or "reply ALL!"

27. Share a secret that is not yours to share. 

28. Eat processed food every day. The more salt the better. And water? Skip it completely. 

29. Give up immediately, especially when it's hard. 

30. Hide behind your keyboard. 

31. Use tanning beds. 

32. Believe everything you read. 

33. Cheat. 

34. Embrace envy and jealousy. 

35. Stand by and say nothing when you could actually do something to help. 

36. Over-pluck your eyebrows. 

37. Assume somebody else will take care of it. 

38. Tell people you care about how much you love and appreciate them...tomorrow. 

39. Watch way too much TV.

40. Make everything about you. 

Life is too short to be a fool. 

What would you add to this list?